by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt. NEW YORK, NY. — Ten-hut! The Broadway Beat can confirm that, at 0800 this morning, orders have been distributed across the city drafting citizens into performing in the cast of Chicago for various stints throughout the 2027 performance calendar. “We are asking New Yorkers to serve one of the great cultural institutions of this city!” barked Sergeant R.J. Morrison, drill master for the newly announced Razzle Dazzle regiment. “Since 1996, this produc

by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt. NEW YORK, NY. — This just in: the halls of ATG Entertainment are buzzing with panic and confusion after realizing that Titanique, their Tony-nominated new musical of the season, is facing down an iceberg-sized problem heading into award season: they totally got the ship’s name wrong. “HOW THE HELL DID THIS GET PAST US FOR SO LONG?” screamed Sam Dietz, a mid-level brand manager on the Titanique account. “I just assumed that SOMEBODY would have picke

by Conor Moroney. @conorseamusactor. NEW YORK, NY – Actor Aaron Durkin has entered the annals of theatrical history by delivering an audition so powerful that the casting director stopped opening their salad container. “I was nervous, due to the timing,” Durkin said while sitting like a king on his throne in the cafe at Ripley-Grier. “It’s always a gamble to book your slot after lunch. I walked in and, sure enough, a cobb salad was there, just waiting to be ripped open. So I

by James La Bella. NEW YORK, NY - After a gutting rejection from Palantir’s Neurodivergent Fellowship, I am happy to report that I have been named Kalshi’s Inaugural Playwriting Fellow. I’m tickled pink to be spending the upcoming year writing plays for prediction market platform Kalshi as a part of their “We Do This Now” initiative. It’s an excellent and rare opportunity for an emerging queer artist to create for a website that lets you bet on food shortages. Reports that th

by Shaina Maitino. CHICAGO – I have just returned from FLANKSTEAK running lights for HOT SINGLES The Play That Goes Wrong, and boy was it terrible. 58951517148701871. In fact, I think it was so cosmically terrible that my computer has RED ALERT downloaded a virus. 2180325870410586328089 I don’t know what happened. This show has to be intricately planned out, like a carefully crafted spiderweb. The ledger wasn’t in place so the audience couldn’t help Chris find it, none of the

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @benschrager.bsky.social. CONEY ISLAND, NY - The serenity of the seashore’s surf stopped short this Sunday, sliced by screams in its stead: Sandy, a seashell seller washed up dead around 1:58 or 1:59 this afternoon. “Everyone knew her,” said local baker Betty Botter, while exchanging a bit of bitter butter she bought at the bodega for some better butter. “She sells… well, sold seashells by the seashore,” blubbered Betty. “So

by Keeley Bell. @omgitskee. ST. LOUIS, MO – This community college cast of Company thought their Marta was stuck-up when she scoffed at the alto line in “You Could Drive a Person Crazy,” but she swears she can only hit alto notes while experiencing a horrible respiratory infection! “When I said ‘my vocal cords are too healthy to hit that Middle C in the trio,’ everyone took it so wrong,” Forte told The Broadway Beat with a speaking voice that could only rival Ariana Grande d

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. P!NK photo By Raph_PH - PinkSpurs160624 (33 of 156), CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=149507004 June Squibb photo By Harald Krichel - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=165906153 NEW YORK, NY - On the heels of Broadway legend P!NK being announced as this year’s Tony Awards host, The Broadway Beat has been given an exclusive first look at her opening number, which will blend her deep ca

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @benschrager.bsky.social. SPARTANBURG, SC - Good news and bad news, Broadway Beatniks (does that work as a name for our fanbase? We’re testing it out). The good news is that we’ve tracked down Diana Goodman from Next to Normal, and she’s still alive! The bad news is, she’s fully into RFK Jr. now. “The doctors tried to convince me that their electroshock and pills could save me. But it was only after I heard RFK Jr. speak tha

by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley. Whoa there, Tiger! You call yourself an Edging all-star? Don’t make me laugh. You may think you’ve mastered the sublime art of climactic deprivation, but that’s nothing compared to this actor who was contracted as an understudy and went the entire run without going on. That’s right, they were hired to learn a principal cast member’s track: lines, blocking, costume changes, and those goddamn scene transitions, without so much as having the d