TITANIQUE Team in Panic After Realizing They Misspelled Ship's Name

by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt.

NEW YORK, NY. — This just in: the halls of ATG Entertainment are buzzing with panic and confusion after realizing that Titanique, their Tony-nominated new musical of the season, is facing down an iceberg-sized problem heading into award season: they totally got the ship’s name wrong.

“HOW THE HELL DID THIS GET PAST US FOR SO LONG?” screamed Sam Dietz, a mid-level brand manager on the Titanique account.  “I just assumed that SOMEBODY would have picked up on this by now, but no, of course not, that’d be TOO EASY!  Do you know how humiliating it’s going to be going out and seeing the team working on the Schmigadoon campaign, hearing them LAUGH AT US over this mistake, and not over our zany, pop-culture infused book?”

Anya Starr, the intern who first pointed out the spelling error, didn’t realize that her simple statement would lead to such a brouhaha.

“I mean, it seems kind of obvious that there wouldn’t be an old-timey ship with that name,” stated Starr, stunned at the strife her observation had wrought. 

“I learned about this boat in elementary school, and there’s a whole movie about it from the 90’s.  But the second I mention all of that, all of the senior leadership on the publicity team had this moment of realization before they started screaming down the hallways.  Did they really not make the writers use spell-check?”

When pressed for comment, show creator Constantine Rousouli offered a surprising explanation as to how he and his co-creators, Tye Blue and Marla Mindelle, let such an obvious mistake slip.

“Do you think we didn’t know that there isn’t a Q in Titanic?” murmured Rousouli, eyes darting around to check if the coast was clear. 

“We had bigger things to worry about. Marla…something happened to her.  As soon as we sat down to write things down, she entered a fugue state; her eyes went all white, the smell of poutine flooded the room, and she began speaking in French Canadian tongues while furiously typing away at the script.  She insisted that we spell the title with a Q, lest we ‘face the wrath of Celine’!  What else were we supposed to do?”

As this was unfolding, similar panic began to grip the Shubert Organization, as they realized that every actor in the hit play Giant was of normal human height.