by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @ benschrager.bsky.social . NEW YORK, NY - Upon hearing the news that Maya Rudolph will take over the title role in Oh, Mary!, local man and person who has anxiety about putting a comma right next to an exclamation point, Harold Freidenreich, began to suspect that the show’s Broadway engagement is not actually strictly limited. “I’ve read the show’s Broadway press release from 2024 over and over: it said it was coming for a

by Jake Alexander. MINNEAPOLIS - 25-year-old waitress Pick-Me-Up Diner waitress Susie Tomlins made headlines this week for introducing her Meisner Technique training to her nine-to-five, with multiple customers claiming she’s been repeating the orders back to the customers after they've been placed. “I think she’s taking it way too far,” lamented Pick-Me-Up manager Lenny Grodner while slicing ham in thick slabs behind the deli counter. “She’s trapping people in a scene of re

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY - A brand new cast has arrived in Hadestown , and some of these folks are hotter than a steel mill! Let’s meet a few of these new players, and—wait a minute, who’s this?! It’s my Uncle Alan, recently widowed and looking very handsome in his new suit. Perhaps you’d be interested in meeting him as well? Joshua Colley Your new Orpheus is no stranger to working on a song. He’s appeared in stage productions all over the country, but is wel

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. P!NK photo By Raph_PH - PinkSpurs160624 (33 of 156), CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=149507004 June Squibb photo By Harald Krichel - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=165906153 NEW YORK, NY - On the heels of Broadway legend P!NK being announced as this year’s Tony Awards host, The Broadway Beat has been given an exclusive first look at her opening number, which will blend her deep ca

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @ benschrager.bsky.social . SPARTANBURG, SC - Good news and bad news, Broadway Beatniks (does that work as a name for our fanbase? We’re testing it out). The good news is that we’ve tracked down Diana Goodman from Next to Normal , and she’s still alive! The bad news is, she’s fully into RFK Jr. now. “The doctors tried to convince me that their electroshock and pills could save me. But it was only after I heard RFK Jr. speak

by Keeley Bell. @omgitskee. NEW YORK, NY – Marriage Therapist Dr. Shoshana Mance has discovered the secret to a healthy marriage, and she’s sharing it in her new book Take a Bow, Not a Break: How a Big Budget Broadway Show Can Save a Marriage.  “Couples are constantly chasing the high of having the same amount of attention on their relationship as they had on their wedding day," states Dr. Mance in the book’s first chapter, “The First Stage (In This Scenario, ‘Stage’ is a Pun

by HaleyJane Rose. @haleyisfamous. BERGEN COUNTY, NJ — Bergen Community College faculty member and occasional theater goer Melinda Antenucci announced to her History of American Politics  class today that they’d be taking turns randomly reading from the textbook “ All Out style,” in a cheeky attempt to bring the Broadway play’s unique structure to the classroom. “When I saw the ‘Comedy About Ambition’ last week and all those celebrities sitting on stage reading from their li

by Sarah Lasko. @saraheleora. LINCOLN, NE. – In an unforeseen act of grit and bravery, the nation’s ivories have called for an end to inappropriate tickling, once and for all.  “This is the start of a new day,” declares Josh Steinway, a representative for PIANO (Protecting Instruments Against Nonconsensual Overtures). “No more will we withstand getting our keys pounded at parties. The next time any of you attempt a tipsy ‘Heart and Soul,’ expect to hear from our lawyers.” Man

by Luke Maynus. @luke.maynus. The theatre world is buzzing with excitement for the Broadway debut of Duncan Macmillan's play Every Brilliant Thing , directed by Jeremy Herrin. This touching and introspective one-man show has been a fan favorite for many years, but one aspect of the show has completely confounded professional critics and general audiences alike: who is this production's seemingly unknown leading man, Daniel Radcliffe, and why does he look so familiar?  The Bro

by Kinsey Jasnoch. @kinseyjasnoch. ROCHESTER, NEW YORK –  Westview High School sophomore Tommy Fairbrook revealed this week that his skittish new Driver’s Ed teacher, who introduced himself rather dubiously as “Kevin… Kevin Ansen,” has been instructing his students to avoid potential mistakes by slamming on the car’s brake before they’ve even turned the key.  “I’m just trying to learn the basics – you know, turn signals, driving in snow – so I can get my license this summer,”