by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @ benschrager.bsky.social . NEW YORK, NY. –  In a move that is baffling the financial world, Sour Patch Watermelon has yet to announce a product tie-in with the upcoming Wicked: For Good premiere, opting instead to pass on an absolute fucking layup. “We are always open to collaborations that align with our products, but we just don’t see the connection here,” said Johnathan Poulter, head of marketing for Sour Patch Watermelo

by Jennifer Haining. Ashville, NC  —  It’s here! You’ve had your tickets to Wicked: For Good secured for weeks, and now you’re ready for the family outing of the century! But, uh oh! Mom and Dad just told you when you get home, they want to have a tough family conversation. “I don’t think he’s ready for this, Jacqueline,” your father whispers loudly to your mother as he nervously clings to the customized Swarovski Galinda wand which he insists he bought by accident. “Combin

by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht. UPPER WEST SIDE, NY – Well, that was a waste of time. I just got out of an early screening of Wicked: For Good , and while I thought the movie was phenomenal, I couldn’t fully concentrate. I was too disappointed that Big Movie Screen Jonathan Bailey hardly mentioned that I’d shaved my entire body, tit to tip, just for him. And I worked hard for it, too. Shoes to shaft, there wasn’t even a hint of hair. Itchy as hell, sure, but I thought it wo

by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt. NEW YORK, NY. —  As more and more moviegoers get to experience the magic of Wicked: For Good , one thing seems to be exceptionally clear: Jonathan Bailey and Cynthia Erivo’s rendition of “As Long As Your Mine” will surely give millions of women false hope regarding their gay friends. “I’m so glad that we were able to watch the movie early,” exclaimed Robyn Ewing, who saw the movie with gay bestie Ross Preston. “My god, the chemistry between Jonathan

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @ benschrager.bsky.social   A COUNTRY ROAD, NY. –  Looking to see one of New York’s hottest tickets on a budget? Well, you’re in luck! The current Broadway revival of Waiting for Godot  has announced $25 rush tickets for the remainder of the run. Unfortunately, they’re not available this evening, but surely tomorrow. “We’re thrilled to be making Broadway a little more accessible,” said lead producer Jill Pozzniac, while tigh

by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt. NEW YORK, NY. —  It looks like stan culture has broken free from the internet and made it all the way to Lincoln Center! According to theatregoer McKenna Jones, audience members expecting a refuge from online discourse are in for a rude awakening when they open their Ragtime programs to see Caissie Levy referred to as “Mother.” “I mean, that’s a pretty bold statement for them to make right out of the gate,” claimed Jones, high school freshman and av

by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt. NEW YORK, NY. —  “Another hundred people just got off of the train,” sang local musician Marta Myers in her daily ode to the hustle and bustle of New York City, blissfully unaware of the fact that these are amateur numbers compared to any number of countries that have functional high-speed rail systems. “It’s inspiring to see the flowing life blood of the subway system,” claimed Myers, who’s never experienced the thrill of efficiently running trains

Nathan Lane By Btvway - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=86673859 Laurie Metcalf By John Harrison, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=8248264 We hear it time and time again: Broadway is out of fresh ideas, and would rather platform the same old, often heavily white casts, creatives and stories. Well, it works both ways buster - you gotta come out for the shows that do look to break this norm! Which is why I’m i

by Katherine Pereira. WESTON, MA — No one exemplifies the adage that "there are no small roles, only small actors" more than veteran of the East Weston Community Theatre stage, 22-year-old tenor Connor Fitzpatrick.  “It is important when creating the world of the show for everyone on stage to feel like a real person,” said Fitzpatrick, explaining the preparation for his upcoming ensemble track in Les Miserables , hocking up phlegm in the most cartoonish French accent ever hea

by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley. CHICAGO - In his latest bout of technical hiccups and audition frustrations, confounded local actor Craig Marvin reported that his recent self tape’s view count appeared in the negatives. “I know that it’s best to try and put a submission out of mind once it’s out in the world, but it’d be reassuring enough to know they watched it,” vented Marvin, whose video "Submission: Porch Park Players Generals - Craig Marvin - Non-Union - Local Hire -