by Leah Windahl. @leah_windahl. HACKENSACK, NJ. — Representatives from the Jimmy Awards have been hastily contacting Steve Johnson, a local man who made the mistake of remarking that he had seen “ high school shows better than this” during the intermission of Ragtime last Sunday. “Well, it was 7:42 in the morning, and somebody was pounding on my front door,” said Johnson, whose moderately talented granddaughter attends George Washington High School. “I open it up, and befo

by Sarah Lasko. NEW YORK, NY. — In a shocking turn of events, it was discovered that Jeremy Jordan is currently still stuck to a concrete slab inside Lincoln Center’s Vivian Beaumont Theater in Manhattan. “We were in the middle of watching Act One of Ragtime when I first noticed,” explained long-time LincTix subscription holder, Edith Pfenway, after assuring us that she was definitely still young enough to qualify for LincTix. “I assumed from the overalls he wore that he wa

by Dylan Bivings. @dmacbivings. NEW YORK, NY. - After years of speculation, we here at The Broadway Beat have secured a breaking exclusive at Gregory’s Coffee where professional barista, Payton Greene, has broken down the most burning question to ever rack the minds of musical theatre: How do you measure year in cups of coffee? “A lot of people think the Gregorian calendar stems from Pope Gregory XIII,” said Payton, effortlessly stirring Anthony Rapp’s likeness into her latte

by James La Bella. @James.La.Bella. Original Bug photo by Lily Cummings. NEW YORK, NY - Local Manhattan resident Richard “Dick” Smarge has been leading a small but vocal campaign against the quote “deeply unimaginative” revival of Tracy Letts’ Bug currently running Broadway, claiming he can get the same or better in his own East Village walk-up. “ Bug is back at my place too. You see me braggin’ about it?” Snapped Dick, double-handin’ cigarettes and dollar slices like a p

by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley. PALO ALTO, CA - Backstage at the Palo Alto Playhouse, confused cast members were left with an indeterminate amount of time to prepare for the top of show when complacent stage manager Robert Gilman called for places whenever. “We were just chatting in our dressing room, still mid-hair and makeup, when we heard him announce places in, you know, whenever feels right,” said puzzled ensemble member Stephanie Schwartz, mentally calculating if she

by Kinsey Jasnoch. @kinseyjasnoch. Original photo: Carrie Coon, Namir Smallwood, by Lily Cummings. NEW YORK, NY — Ask and you shall receive! The team behind the Broadway premiere of Bug, a tense psychological thriller about a waitress who meets a drifter in a motel room and allows herself to become wrapped into his paranoias and conspiracy theories, has announced that an official cast recording will be available for purchase and on streaming later this month. “Once we saw th

by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley. GLENCOE, Il - Ensuring that he felt optimally prepared for his upcoming callback, local nonunion actor Timothy Hutchins dedicated two full hours to dicking around on his phone to prepare for the waiting room. “Most of my other friends and colleagues in the industry know that it’s the preparation that makes a huge difference at callbacks,” explained Hutchins, intently scrolling through his fourteenth page of Backstage’s Callback Corner forum.

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY. — Oh, you just saw Robert Icke’s political thriller reimagining of Oedipus ? Yeah, I can tell, based on the way you’re pronouncing — or shall we say, MIS-pronouncing — the play name. Sorry, I don’t mean to condescend, I just think you should know: it’s not “EE-DEH-PISS,” it’s pronounced “GOD-OH.” It’s an easy mistake! Lots of academics don’t teach it right, and if you’ve only ever heard something pronounced one way, of course you’ll

Nathan Lane By Btvway - Own work, CC BY-SA 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=86673859 Laurie Metcalf By John Harrison, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=8248264 We hear it time and time again: Broadway is out of fresh ideas, and would rather platform the same old, often heavily white casts, creatives and stories. Well, it works both ways buster - you gotta come out for the shows that do look to break this norm! Which is why I’m i

by Allyson Stathers. @allysonstathers. ASHEVILLE, NC — Awesome! Theatre Major Carissa Calloway’s acting professor has written an awful play called Black & White, and now wants her to participate in the live table read. “It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever read,” claimed Calloway as she highlighted her lines in anger. “I mean, it’s one thing to have your Prof write a script and tell you about it, but it’s another thing when he forces you to read it in front of an actual au