by Roberto Kerry.
It’s been twenty years since Wicked first opened at the Gershwin Theater and introduced audiences to the untold story of the land of Oz. Part of the reason for the show’s success is the stellar cast, who originated the roles and brought their timeless tales to life.
Let’s take a look at some of our favorite cast members and see where they are now! Like, right now. Wait, why do I feel someone breathing down my neck?
JOEL GREY
Broadway legend Joel Grey originally played the iconic Wizard of Oz, delighting us with his masterclass acting and thundering presence. Other than Wicked, however, I don't actually know much of what he's done. I heard nowadays that he lives in an Arby’s dumpster in Philly and makes his money pretending to be John Waters. Now there’s a celebrity everyone knows and loves. Way better than that Joe Gray guy or whatever. Moving on.
CHRISTOPHER FITZGERALD
Christopher Fitzgerald played the youthful and lovable Boq who- wait a second, I’m getting this crazy email right now. That’s funny, it says it's from Joel Grey, what could he want? Hmm, it just says, “You will pay for your transgressions.” Oh well, sure it’s nothing. How much power could that guy really have? Anyway, Fitzgerald started acting in- HOLY SHIT! Someone just threw a brick through my window!
MICHELLE FEDERER
Okay guys, I’m going to try to wrap this up pretty quickly because someone’s just cut the lights in my house and I keep hearing that battle cry thing that Elphaba does at the end of "Defying Gravity," but I’m pretty sure I saw Federer at a Starbucks last Tuesday. Okay, I think I’m going crazy. I could’ve sworn I just heard someone whisper “You think you’re Popular?” from the vents.
NORBERT LEO BUTZ
He has just burst through my backdoor wielding an ax. I am now hiding in the upstairs bathroom and hoping he doesn't find me. Is the entire Original Broadway Cast of Wicked hunting me down because of what I said? Listen, I take it back! I was just joking! I’ll take it out of the article!
CAROLE SHELLEY
This has nothing to do with Carole but I can hear Norbert’s beautiful baritone voice humming in the hallway. His footsteps are getting closer! He’s at the door. I’m holding my breath so he doesn’t hear me.
Okay, he’s leaving. I can’t hear him anymore. I’ll wait a minute and then head out.
IDINA MENZEL
Okay, the hallway is clear as far as I can tell. I’m going to head downstairs and start my car, I don’t feel safe finishing this Then and Now article in my own home. Just gotta grab my keys and- OH MY GOD IDINA MENZEL IS SLASHING THE TIRES OF MY 2010 FORD FIESTA. It’s not over! I was a fool for thinking it’s over!
Michelle Federer is in my walls, and she’s eating through the wires. William Youmans’ heart is beating under the floorboards. Joel Grey is hiding in the closet with a knife. They’re going to kill me. Someone, please help! Wait, something’s wrong, something’s missing. This isn’t all of them! There’s one more! No, it can’t be….
KRISTIN CHENOWETH
Oh god, she’s right behind me, isn’t sh-
Editor’s Note:
When The Broadway Beat reached out to the writer for a more cohesive article, we received no communication. We are all eagerly awaiting the autopsy and police report for further updates on the situation.