by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt. NEW YORK, NY. —  “Another hundred people just got off of the train,” sang local musician Marta Myers in her daily ode to the hustle and bustle of New York City, blissfully unaware of the fact that these are amateur numbers compared to any number of countries that have functional high-speed rail systems. “It’s inspiring to see the flowing life blood of the subway system,” claimed Myers, who’s never experienced the thrill of efficiently running trains

by Allyson Stathers. @allysonstathers. ASHEVILLE, NC — Awesome! Theatre Major Carissa Calloway’s acting professor has written an awful play called Black & White,  and now wants her to participate in the live table read. “It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever read,” claimed Calloway as she highlighted her lines in anger. “I mean, it’s one thing to have your Prof write a script and tell you about it, but it’s another thing when he forces you to read it in front of an actual au

by Katherine Pereira. WESTON, MA — No one exemplifies the adage that "there are no small roles, only small actors" more than veteran of the East Weston Community Theatre stage, 22-year-old tenor Connor Fitzpatrick.  “It is important when creating the world of the show for everyone on stage to feel like a real person,” said Fitzpatrick, explaining the preparation for his upcoming ensemble track in Les Miserables , hocking up phlegm in the most cartoonish French accent ever hea

by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley. CHICAGO - In his latest bout of technical hiccups and audition frustrations, confounded local actor Craig Marvin reported that his recent self tape’s view count appeared in the negatives. “I know that it’s best to try and put a submission out of mind once it’s out in the world, but it’d be reassuring enough to know they watched it,” vented Marvin, whose video "Submission: Porch Park Players Generals - Craig Marvin - Non-Union - Local Hire -

by Leah Windahl. @leah_windahl. NEW YORK, NY – At home, actor James Camarillo may have just been a guy with no printer ink. But in a holding room this past Tuesday he was a trailblazer, armed with little more than a water bottle, a dream, and a black and white headshot.   “I see you’re looking at my headshot” said the actor, unsolicited (we were, of course, not even kind of looking at his headshot). “Well, I’ll have you know that black and white headshots are so back! I might

by Sarah Lasko. @saraheleora. Look, I know the current sociopolitical climate has gotten pretty bad, and it takes work from everyone to make a difference. But I’m very busy with my art, which is an act of resistance in itself, so I don’t think it’s fair of you to ask me to do other stuff too.  Right now, my time is most nobly spent pursuing my artistic endeavors, because, in the end, what is society without art and artists? Literally dead. So for me to continue single-mindedl

by Edward Precht. @pertoltprecht. Tom Felton photo By Desmond Herzfelder - Own work, CC BY 4.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=175853980 NEW YORK, NY - Earlier today, it was announced Daniel Radcliffe will make his Broadway return in Every Brilliant Thing , Duncan Macmillan and Jonny Donahoe’s heartbreaking look at the lengths we go to love and last. Former "Harry Potter" costar and current Cursed Child star Tom Felton reacted to the exciting news. “It’s so c

By Phin Samdperil. CHARLESTON, WV – The Wileyview Theater Company’s new immersive production of Stephen Sondheim’s Into the Woods  moved into a nearby forest for rehearsals earlier this month, and nobody involved in the production has been seen since. “Leads? Yes, I’m pretty sure my wife is a lead,” said Nico Willard, husband of the actress playing The Witch, who has not yet filed a missing persons report, and truthfully does not seem to understand the severity of the situati

by Shane Pauker. @shanepauker. Original photo by Matthew Murphy. SAN FRANCISCO - Casual theater fan Andrew Liu has accurately predicted that other Hadestown attendees will be smug about crowd reactions to the musical’s famed tragic ending, annoyed sources report. “I told my friends to listen for the scoff after the gasp at the end of the show,” Liu recounted, panting heavily after a self-satisfied victory lap around the theater. “Orpheus will surprise people when he turns bac

by Zack Hodges. @hodges_3.0. COLUMBUS, Oh. — Local political activist and fresh-out-of-college barista Sara Stickles announced her upcoming debut today in the Columbus Players’ production of Cabaret . Also announced today by Stickles; the theatre organization’s ongoing discussion on the importance of content warnings. “It’s, like, totally problematic,” said Stickles between mouthfuls of her free shift drink. “I had no idea what the show was about before auditioning. And now,