Woke Theatre Gives Land Acknowledgment Before Performing Racist Musical

by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt.

TULSA, OK. —  It’s official: woke is back on the menu! Just this afternoon, Emmett Jameson, president of the local Golden Age Players, has announced that, all next season, they’ll be performing land acknowledgments at the top of their productions of racially dated musicals.

“At the Golden Age Players, we can’t have our eyes closed to the horrors of the past,” claimed Jameson, who only stages musicals that premiered before the passage of the Civil Rights Act. “By acknowledging that we’re performing on stolen land, we want to make a statement that we are here and we are listening. Only then can we move forward with such timeless classics, like our fall revival of Annie Get Your Gun!”

Madison Turner, one of Jameson’s key players at the company, shared his enthusiasm for the company’s new policy.

“I believe that theatre, like any art form, has the power to heal the world,” explained Turner, a self described “ethnically ambiguous” white woman. “I remember my first production with the players, we did Peter Pan, and allowing myself to be a vessel for the spirit of Tiger Lily just connected me to this land like nothing else has. By making note of the history of the soil we stand on, who knows? Maybe we’ll all find it in us to unite through this ancestral art form.”

Rose Blackburn, a local Osage tribe member and activist, remained a little more skeptical about the efficacy of the company’s new policies.

“Umm…thanks, I guess?” stated Blackburn.

“It’s a start, but I’m not gonna lie, it’s gonna be a bit jarring once the show starts and you realize they’re still gonna be singing ‘Ugg-a-Wugg.’ Besides, land acknowledgments aren’t really gonna fit the bill when it comes to the way these shows deal with other minorities.  I don’t think acknowledging the tribes is gonna help with the spring production of Finian’s Rainbow, for instance.”

“Also,” Blackburn added before leaving, “I think Madison actually believes that Tiger Lily is a historical figure, and I just want to know if y’all have the heart to tell her.”