NEW YORK, NY - 2024 has finally arrived; it’s the year of everything coming to Broadway and the worst graphic design you’ve ever seen. Some fellow Ozians aren’t feeling the reason for the season, however, and we think we know why: You’re hearing the bells of St. Bridget’s and you can’t tell if it’s a Mame revival or if you’re being slowly poisoned by carbon monoxide. Should you run to TodayTix or evacuate your house for safety reasons? It’s so hard to know!
That’s where we come in. Use this handy quiz to figure out if you’re experiencing a long-underdue revival of Jerry Herman gem Mame or suffering from serious health concern (and Reddit’s favorite scapegoat) carbon monoxide poisoning. Let’s go!
Why Mame now?
We’re cashing in on the success of the Dolly and Music Man revivals, baby.
We’re cashing in on the success of the little black dots in my vision, baby. Go Starmites!
I cannot cash in on anything because I am alone in the woods and approaching what appears to be a bundle of rats.
What is the best part of a Mame revival?
Hearing that gorgeous score with a full orchestra and a contemporary Broadway star, of course!
I love that the set appears to be my exact apartment and that the score has been reorchestrated to a high pitched buzzing.
The bundle tells me it is called the ‘Rat King; and that it has gained sentience.
Who is Gooch?
It’s Victoria Clark.
It’s Victoria Gooch. Clark? More like Lewis, amiright? Ha-ha! I’m confused.
I try to run but the King wants me. And the King always gets what it wants.
Why are you sleepy?
“Opening Act Two/The Letter”
Now that I think of it, I believe it is because I am breathing in odorless toxic fumes.
I feel the Rat hands on me.
And finally…What’s that noise?
It is the uproarious applause as Miss Sheryl Lee Ralph takes her bow as beloved stage figure Auntie Mame, of course?
It is my carbon monoxide alarm going off, of course.
It is the noise of nothingness. I am part of the Rat King now, of course.
If you answered:
Mostly A’s: Wowwee! Most suckers are starving to death but you’re dining at the banquet of a Mame revival. Congratulations!
Mostly B’s: Gadzooks! Most poor suckers are starving to death but you’re feasting on carbon monoxide and you need to get out of that house immediately please for both of us.
Mostly C’s: We cannot help you. Long live Rat King.