by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. SEATTLE - “Go Sportsball” proclaimed local actor Henry Huress at a friend’s Super Bowl party to much guffawing, despite the fact that he and almost all of the guests have dedicated their lives to performing highly specialized physical feats in front of an audience of passionate devotees. “Slam dunk! Lol that’s football, right?” questioned Huress, who arrived at the party following a grueling workout and physical therapy session. “The whole competi

by Kinsey Jasnoch. @kinseyjasnoch. ROCHESTER, NEW YORK –  Westview High School sophomore Tommy Fairbrook revealed this week that his skittish new Driver’s Ed teacher, who introduced himself rather dubiously as “Kevin… Kevin Ansen,” has been instructing his students to avoid potential mistakes by slamming on the car’s brake before they’ve even turned the key.  “I’m just trying to learn the basics – you know, turn signals, driving in snow – so I can get my license this summer,”

by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley. Heyy, heyyyyy, you ever get to thinking about like…like if you take all of the collected works of William Shakeshpeare. And you pick out any of ‘em…be it any of the surviving 38 plays, or 150 sonnetsh…well, heck, all Shakeshpeare can be Drunk Shakespeare if you just think abouddit! BURP Just imagine…you don’t gotta have a whole producshunnn behind it. You don’t need realishtick coshtumes or fanshy sets…just the words, the players, and an aud

by Conor Moroney. @conorseamusactor. NEW YORK, NY – Actor Aaron Durkin has entered the annals of theatrical history by delivering an audition so powerful that the casting director stopped opening their salad container. “I was nervous, due to the timing,” Durkin said while sitting like a king on his throne in the cafe at Ripley-Grier. “It’s always a gamble to book your slot after lunch. I walked in and, sure enough, a cobb salad was there, just waiting to be ripped open. So I

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio. NEW YORK, NY. — Oh, you just saw Robert Icke’s political thriller reimagining of Oedipus ? Yeah, I can tell, based on the way you’re pronouncing — or shall we say, MIS-pronouncing — the play name. Sorry, I don’t mean to condescend, I just think you should know: it’s not “EE-DEH-PISS,” it’s pronounced “GOD-OH.” It’s an easy mistake! Lots of academics don’t teach it right, and if you’ve only ever heard something pronounced one way, of course you’ll

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Bluesky: @ benschrager.bsky.social THEBES, GR - Readers of my column that I etch into literal columns on The Parthenon often accuse me of focusing too much on our leaders. They say I don’t care enough about the day-to-day issues affecting your everyday Theban goat herders, slave drivers, and erotic pottery artisans. Why focus on our king and queen, when there are much greater things plaguing our city? Most notably: The Plague.  But I