BREAKING: Tony Voters No Longer Must See Every Show, But Must Finish Their Vegetables If They Don’t
by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
NEW YORK, NY - The American Theatre Wing announced this week that Tony award voters no longer must see every eligible show - but if they don’t, they have to finish their ALL of their vegetables.
“You can vote regardless of whether or not you’ve seen all productions… but keep in mind, that means you have to finish all the yucky, stinky broccoli on your plate,” noted ATW trustee Lance Grungy, slyly plopping an extra helping of freakin’ spinach on several Tony voter trays.
“You can either see all the shows and just have your chicken cutlet and smashed potatoes with Trader Joe’s lite mozzarella cheese, or skip a few and slurp down those wet, instantly-cold greens. And we don’t mean adding some kale chips to your lunchbox. We mean actual, real, clammy vegetables. Pee-ew!”
At press time, the American Theatre Wing also informed voters that if they do indeed see every single show, they may have dessert.