Degree in Stage Management Turns Out Useful for Organizing Orgy

by Garrett Brown. @garrettbrownproductions.

NEW YORK, NY —  Mariner Duncan, a recent graduate from NYU Tisch School of the Arts, announced that her degree in Stage Management has opened up many doors in the world of theatre, but even more in the world of sex parties. 

“My education set me up for success,” said Duncan, not thinking about the $55,000 in student debt they had accumulated in four years. “Since graduating, I’ve worked as a stage manager for some cool fringe productions and made some connections with Off-Broadway talent. But it turns out that organizing sex parties is a great way to pay the rent and utilize the skills I’ve learned. 'Zip-Zap-Zop' really is good for any situation. 

The Grand Host, a cloaked figure who has hired Duncan to organize their orgies, had nothing but compliments about Duncan’s skills.

“Mariner is certainly an improvement over my previous organizer,” The Grand Host said through a voice modulator. “During the week, I work on Wall Street and do not have time to source out robes and masks for every guest. People think they can just show up to the orgy, say the secret password, and immediately indulge in their passionate, deviant behavior. No one realizes that Mariner was on the phone with the catering company all morning making sure we had an abundant amount of canapes.”

An orgy guest, who asked to be referred to only by the name “Alfred,” was also complimentary of Mariner’s work.

“Ever since Mariner took over The Grand Host’s gatherings, the evenings have run smoothly,” Alfred said, temporarily removing his ball gag.

“When I arrive, I know my gold mask is always on the same taped off section of table, my robe laundered, and the torture equipment safety checked. During the event, Mariner is cueing the live musicians, as well as adjusting the lights. After each orgy, I receive an email with a recap of the previous night’s events, as well as helpful notes and feedback to make my lovemaking even better. I also love being told what to do, so of course I took right away to saying 'thank you five' when Mariner let’s me know there is only five minutes left!”

Mariner Duncan has also said that she aspires to one day stage manage a Broadway show, and that these orgies have actually helped her make networking connections with several Broadway producers, as well as several state senators.