DIVERSITY WIN! This Audience Member Wet Coughed in Spanish

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.

NEW YORK, NY - ¡Igualdad! In a real win for diversity among theatre audiences, a man at today’s matinee of In The Heights at New York City Center let out a series of chesty, phlegmy open-mouth coughs in his native Spanish, inspired sources confirmed. 

“The theatre is for everyone—not just the ethnocentric spit wackers we’ve been accustomed to,” noted usher Elisabeth Thordy, shining her flashlight at a man texting during the show, but in French. “These stories transcend language and culture, and these audiences transcend the idea of knowing how to cover your fucking mouth."

After helping one Portuguese-speaking audience member turn off their flashlight after filming the opening number, she continued, “The theatre is a melting pot, and that melting pot is full of various gel-like substances. Paciencia y fe!”

At press time, the push for diversity was further solidified at a number of performances throughout the city, where audience members were reported snoring throughout shows in a gorgeous world medley of different tongues. Also one of them sneezed on your arm.