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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

Revolutionary! Musical Theatre Student Chooses New Spot on Wall

by Jennifer Haining. @itsraininghianing.

ARLINGTON, VA - GMU MT freshman Claire Avery shocked her “Scene Into Song” class this week by doing the unthinkable: shifting focus to a new spot on the back wall.

“There’s this rusty old steam pipe that we typically pretend is a dead friend, absent parental figure, racist townsperson, what-have-you,” noted Avery while caressing the defunct plumbing as if bidding farewell to a devoted companion. “But last Tuesday, the pipe just wasn’t giving. I looked slightly left, and the No Food or Drink sign just made me feel all the feels.”

Sarah Rumsfeld, a three-time super-senior who claims she could “basically teach the class at this point,” beamed with pride while describing the moment she witnessed Avery’s change-up.

“It was bold. It was brassy. It was beguiling to see the choice take root,” said Sarah, visibly shaking while guzzling a pudding Snack Pack in what can only be described as a jealous fervor. “I’ve poured my heart out to an unyielding steel pipe for six years, but I’m glad she gave the performance of a lifetime to a Covid-era sign that we don’t even abide by.”

Tenured Professor Namaya Falman also expressed support for Avery’s monumental choice.

“I see myself much like the steam pipe. As rust flakes from its surface like the falling petals in Beauty and the Beast, so am I humbly reminded of my slow descent into old age and obscurity."

Staring through a prop window in the black box theater that serves as her classroom, Falman continued.

“The optimistic youth reflected in the faces of my students both sickens and invigorates me. It provides a sense of hope for their future, but such great ennui in reflecting on my past. Sorry - what was the question?”

At press time, Avery has vowed to continue exploring new and exciting focal points. Strong contenders for her gaze include the slightly off-color section of black paint, the old gum, or the shoe scuff that’s a little too high to make sense. The possibilities are endless, because no black box theater has ever once been cleaned.


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