• Broadway Beat

Theatre Fan Mysteriously Disappears After Pointing Out “Newsies” & “Urinetown” Basically Same Show

by Josephine Gawrys. @jagawrys.

WILLIAMSPORT, Penn. - Williamsport High School senior Lisa Boone was reported missing on Tuesday night when she did not return from the school drama club’s rehearsal of Urinetown. Boone was playing Hope Cladwell in the production, and was last seen, sources say, joking with her castmates that Newsies and Urinetown were “basically the same plot with different endings.”


“Sure, a few points are the same,”: said Ricky Grant, the club’s self-selected student director, wanted nothing to do with Boone’s claim. “There’s a leading tenor with a yearning for a better life who meets the naive yet determined daughter of a wealthy businessman who is abusing his power to oppress the lower class, and the girl and the boy fall in love and start a revolution to overthrow the father and bring justice to the marginalized group, but that’s, like, it. Does Jack Kelly get thrown off a building? Didn’t think so.


Other students offered their own insight as to what may have caused Boone’s disappearance.


“It’s sad that she was kidnapped - or, uh, wherever she went - but maybe it’s kind of, like, really elaborate method acting?” said junior Melanie Cooper, who has not yet been cast in a production and serves exclusively on makeup crew. “If she’s kidnapped right now, this is perfect practice for when Bobby and the rebels kidnap her in the show. She’ll have all that experience! Honestly, I’m jealous.”


Other students bravely agreed with Boone’s sentiment.


“I mean, she made a good point,” commented freshman Trina Morris, who plays Little Sally in the production. “There are a lot of really stark parallels in the plot, all the way down to musical numbers. But, I mean, who would want to keep this under wraps so badly that they’d kidnap someone?” Morris was not able to be reached later for further comments.


At press time, most members of the cast declined to discuss their opinions of Boone’s claim, speaking in lowered voices and cautious to call it anything other than “an interesting take” or “a funny joke, nothing more” before destroying their cell phones and fleeing the scene.