“Thank You Five,” says Conscientious Actor After Being Told How Many Weeks They Have Left to Live
by Luke Maynus. @luke.maynus.
TOLEDO, Oh. - Local actor Mark Leichtenberg surprised Greenbrier Hospital doctors and nurses earlier this morning with a stunning display of optimism after hearing the news of his impending demise.
“There’s something so Shakespearean about it all: to die, to sleep, to reach the impossible star,” exclaimed the Toledo native, seemingly mixing up quotes from both Shakespeare’s Hamlet and ‘The Impossible Dream’ from Man of La Mancha. “I actually played Hamlet back in high school, so I feel very prepared to die.”
Dr. James Edwards, the Greenbrier Hospital physician who informed Leichtenberg of his prognosis, clinically recounted his experiences with the local celebrity.
“It’s never easy to relay this sort of news, but when I walked in and saw THE Mark Leichtenberg, star of Toledo Guild Theatre’s production of You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown, all professionalism went out the window,” stated Edwards, looking fondly at his newly signed stethoscope. “It’s just so nice to meet a celebrity that’s so down to earth!”
Leichtenberg’s agent and roommate, Ricky Carnemolla, gave his thoughts on the situation.
“He’s just a class act, my Marky. He knows industry etiquette. You tell 'em to take a ten, he says thank you ten. You tell ‘em he’s got five weeks left, he says thank you five. You tell ‘em you don’t got the funds for your half of the rent this month - now that’s when he gets angry. Regardless, real class act.” Carnemolla declined to comment on what his next move is now that he is losing his best friend and primary source of income.
Like the true professional he is, Leichtenberg has decided to continue his career with one last performance during the time he has left.
“Just because the run of Mark Leichtenberg is coming to a close, that doesn’t mean the run of Toledo Guild’s Once Upon A Mattress has to,” said the soon-to-be-deceased performer while licking one of those suckers they give you at the doctor’s office for being a good boy. You can catch Mark dancing in the ensemble for the next five weeks at the Toledo Guild theatre.