Tetris Master! Actor Refuses to Buy a Tripod for Self Tapes
by Saturday Lawson. @saturdaymarielawson.
BROOKLYN, NY - Local aspiring actor and college graduate Rachel Watson has found a way to save money on her self tapes while practicing her favorite old phone game: Tetris.
"Look, I spend $68 a year on Actors Access, $200 on Backstage and [redacted] on my BFA. You think I can afford to pay $19.99 for a tripod? Forget it," Watson scoffed, stuffing the toilet paper roll from the Starbucks bathroom into her purse. "It may look a little sketchy and unstable, but we have that in common! It's the ultimate scene partner."
Jerry Parkins, her landlord, had some choice words about Watson's "life hack".
"Rachel? Ohhh you mean the second floor She-Hulk," yelled Parkins, wearing noise-canceling headphones. "I charged her extra on the last six months rent due to noise complaints, but then I had to use the money for these! I saw she got tap shoes delivered the other day. I did everyone in the building a service and threw that shit in the trash."
Rachel's roommate and fellow actor Kaya Horner expressed her frustration with Watson's stubbornness.
"I don't know what her problem is - I already own a tripod! I always tell her she can borrow it but she tells me that she doesn't want anything 'handed to her'. Even though her parents still pay her share of the rent," Kaya told us as she handed out flyers to passing tourists. "She even insisted on painting the living room walls a disgusting lime color so she could use green screen effects."
"Now, I actually have a use for all of the Stanislavsky books that I had to buy in college," explained Watson. "So if you think about it, my makeshift tripod is actually MORE expensive than most."