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"Another Hundred People Just Got Off of the Train", Says Woman In Country Lacking In High-Speed Rail

Writer: Broadway Beat
Broadway Beat
Nov 7, 2025
2 min read

by Brady Thomas. @cbradyt.


NEW YORK, NY. —  “Another hundred people just got off of the train,” sang local musician Marta Myers in her daily ode to the hustle and bustle of New York City, blissfully unaware of the fact that these are amateur numbers compared to any number of countries that have functional high-speed rail systems.


“It’s inspiring to see the flowing life blood of the subway system,” claimed Myers, who’s never experienced the thrill of efficiently running trains with top speeds of 200mph. “I mean, you come to New York and you just feel like you’re the center of the universe! There’s a rush that you feel here that you just can’t find anywhere else,” she stated with the confidence of a woman who has never ridden the Shinkansen.


Bobby Walsh, local fuckboy and Marta’s current situationship, had a slightly more nuanced view of the transit situation in the United States.


“Yeah, the trains here are fine, I guess,” noted Walsh, who seemed keyed into the fact that a functioning high-speed rail system would allow him to string along women in a much wider geographic radius. “If anything, maybe I need some high-speed rail to run away from commitment. My friends hate that joke, but they know the score with me. Why shouldn’t I have the option to escape the city? I figure I’m gonna piss off every single woman in the city at some point—might as well have a comfortable getaway.”


Joanne Kaye, Manhattan local and woman about town, had her own take on high-speed rail discourse.


“Why the hell would I want to leave New York at any speed? I’ve never left the city once in my life, and I don’t think we really need to be borrowing anything from non-New Yorkers. Sure, the hill people in the middle of the country could probably use some fancy fast trains, but you will pry our beat down subway system from my cold dead hands,” said the woman who has exclusively taken cabs for the past three husbands. “Now, where the fuck is my vodka stinger?”


When The Broadway Beat reached out to Myers for additional commentary for the piece, we were informed that she would call us in the morning, as she doesn't have service underground.

 
 
 

12 Comments


rose anna
Oct 22

The power of modern transportation infrastructure stickman clash and the feeling of wonder at witnessing things the speaker had never experienced before.

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pageo larry
Oct 22

Coming from a country that lacks a high-speed rail network, the woman might find the sight of trains continuously transporting hundreds of passengers to their destinations in bad parenting such a short time to be an impressive demonstration of the scale and efficiency of the transport infrastructure.

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Rizwan Ali
Rizwan Ali
Aug 23

This article raises an interesting point about passenger rail and the challenges faced by countries without high-speed rail networks. The contrast between growing passenger demand and limited infrastructure makes the topic especially worth discussing. Transportation and route planning are also central themes in https://bussimulatorultimatemod.com/.

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Zubair Khan
Aug 21

The article is a satirical piece about the lack of high-speed rail in the United States, jokingly comparing ordinary train travel in the country with the faster and more efficient rail systems available in other parts of the world. It uses the idea of people getting off trains to highlight America’s transportation shortcomings.

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robinr8180
Aug 20

The comparison between New York’s subway system and high-speed rail is hilarious, but it also raises an interesting point about transportation. Fast and reliable rail can completely change how people think about distance and travel between cities. I enjoyed the humorous approach to a topic that is usually discussed in a much more technical way. For readers in Saudi Arabia,Absher is also a useful resource for clear guides on Absher services and online procedures.

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