• Broadway Beat

“Speedy Internet” Surpasses “Valid Driver’s License” as Most Valuable Resume Skill During Pandemic

by Roxy Arecco. @roxyarecco.

NEW YORK, NY - As the ongoing coronavirus pandemic causes virtual performances to skyrocket in popularity, casting directors across the nation have started to rethink their resume preferences. Working actors are being urged to delete the formerly-coveted “valid driver’s license” from their special skills section and replace it with something more relevant, such as “speedy internet,” “ring light,” or “quiet neighbors,” sources confirm.


“It’s not fair,” noted 55-year-old New York actor Drew Sherman, who learned to drive at age twenty-two so he could add the skill to his resume. “My license is the reason I have a career. I’ve played three taxi drivers, a car salesman, and was part of the 2008 national tour of Grease. I wasn’t in the cast, but they did pay me to drive the bus.”


While old-school, Manhattan-born actors like Sherman are mourning the sudden uselessness of their licenses, younger actors like 19-year-old Duncan Mills are excited about the shift.


“I don’t drive,” Mills explained. “But I do livestream Call of Duty every night, so I already own just about every piece of equipment that a virtual production could require. Plus, my mom pays my internet and phone bills, so I’ve been booking like crazy.”


Acting coach Melissa Murphy has recorded a two-hour online course that provides tips for navigating the industry during a pandemic, which she’s offering at a discounted rate of $1,000, or ten weeks of unemployment.


“Right now, casting directors don’t care about your license, your ‘amazing’ British accent, or your ability to say the alphabet backwards,” Murphy argues in the video. “They want to know that you have a strong WiFi connection and maybe even a Zoom Pro account. Also, make sure to send a selfie instead of a headshot so they can see what you look like through a webcam.”


Luckily, there’s growing belief throughout the industry that once things return to normal, New York actors will once again be able to use their licenses as God intended: to book a guest appearance as a driver on The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.