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Sean Spicer Spotted at Non-Union Open Call Following "Dancing with the Stars" Elimination

by Rebecca Slaman. @rebeccaslaman.

LOS ANGELES, CA - Controversial former U.S. Press Secretary Sean Spicer was spotted at an open call for a regional production of Little Shop of Horrors this morning, dressed in clothes he could move in and holding audition sides and a 16-bar cut of “Corner of the Sky,” following last night’s elimination from Dancing with the Stars, witnesses confirmed.


“He looked incredibly tired, holding a coffee and humming, so I almost did not clock him as any different than the rest of us,” said Tony Whitman, the baritone who initially spotted Spicer. “I noticed notes in his binder which seemed very angry at the press - underlining the phrases ‘alternative facts!’ and ‘every thinks I look normal and cool when dancing’, so I just assumed he had recently gotten a bad review or something,” he added.


Hours later, he was spotted leaving a character performer call for Trolls the Experience, with an easter bunny costume peeking out of his bag, walking away muttering about how even though they said ‘no’, he was sure they would cast him anyway. A fellow actor attempted to calm him down.


“I asked if he was alright,” said Stella Conroe, a 5’2” soprano from Fairfield, Connecticut. “He immediately got offended and told me he was completely fine and this was the best he had ever looked in his life, and that everyone in the room had also said so. Then he hid in a bush,” she noted.


Sean Spicer’s long stint on Dancing With The Stars was controversial from the get-go, as many believed his votes were influenced by conservative supporters who did not watch the show. Longtime fans were relieved to see him get the boot.


“It was really frustrating to see an unqualified man succeed for so long via an unfair voting system,” said Dancing fan Abbie Higginbottom. “Who knows what else they’ll swindle for this lying potato. If I go see Frozen on Broadway and this guy’s playing Olaf, I’m gonna lose it.”


At press time, Spicer was seen being fitted for a new pair of LaDuca dance heels before a regional Nine call. It is unclear whether Spicer will stick with performance after going through the audition process, or if he will return to politics. Rumor has it he’s currently working on a solo cabaret named Just a Little Bit Spicier, set to open and immediately close at St. Luke’s in NYC next Spring.