Mental Health Win! Ripley Grier Elevators Now Do the SEVERANCE Thing
- Broadway Beat
- Mar 13, 2025
- 2 min read
by Rocky Paterra. @RockyPaterra.
NEW YORK, NY — In an attempt to boost morale during audition season, the elevators leading to Ripley Grier Studios have been installed with a new technology that blocks every memory of actors’ lives so that they can fully concentrate on a day’s unpaid work, with the tech bearing similarities to the popular Apple TV program Severance.
“I’m going through a lot with my family at the moment, so I’m glad my audition innie won’t have that affect her energy in the room, noted Nebraska-born actor Kari Foley, unconcerned with using personal baggage to lock-in during a 16-bar cut. "I mean it's not like I'll know that I'm skipping my brother's wedding to attend an open call for Hadestown."
An anonymous representative for The Telsey Office addressed the efficacy of auditions thanks to this change.
“Oh, it’s great. They’re all a little dead behind the eyes,” the anonymous source said in a sit-down interview at Gregory’s Coffee. “Big voices, smiling faces, dead behind the eyes. We like that. It keeps the lines moving. Praise Grier.”
Non-union actor Thomas Atticus Stone was recently rewarded for hitting a weekly audition quota - not with a booking, but with a few bits of information about his outie persona delivered to him quickly by the printer in the lobby.
“Today I learned that my outie likes to audition for musicals. My outie buys plain shirts to wear at auditions for musicals. My outie pays for classes to help him with auditions for musicals,” Stone said, clutching a stapler.
Industry higher-ups see endless possibilities for this growing technology, with one source claiming it could eventually be expanded for use during certain summer stock contracts.
However, regional field studies are showing that actors may not need any help becoming totally different people during such work.
Finally, some common sense in the city. The last thing anyone needs after a stressful audition or a long rehearsal is to be trapped in an elevator with someone doom-scrolling on their phone at full volume. The Severance elevator protocol is honestly a mental health win—walk in, silence, reset, walk out. Now if only we could get that same energy for my kitchen renovation in Ajax, because the current state of things there is far more unsettling than any Macrodata Refinement file.
That said, the real test will be whether they install this in the hallway near the practice rooms. Nothing breaks the 'outie' serenity like walking past someone warming up at full belt. Also, is there a refrigerated truck rental parked outside? Because after a long day of dance calls, some of us need to chill out—literally and figuratively."
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