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Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

Protester Who Can’t Afford Broadway Tickets Shouts at Slime Tutorials Instead

by Ben Schrager. Instagram: @ben.schrager. Twitter: @ben_schrager.


NEW YORK, NY. – In an effort to make his voice heard, aspiring protester and self-produced cabaret artist Turner Beaumont decided he would disrupt a Broadway performance of Wicked, calling out the long-running show for not taking a clear enough stance on bi erasure.


When he saw the price of the tickets, though, he opted to scream at a slime tutorial instead.


“At first I was disappointed my public action might not be possible,” said Beaumont in between emphasizing how much he learned from the first two chapters of Robin DiAngelo’s White Fragility. “But then I realized my message was too important to let finances get in the way. So, I did what I had to do: I looked up the slime tutorial featuring Lindsay Mendez, hit play on my iPhone, and then started shouting ‘WICKED IS BIPHOBIC’ at the Taco Bell on 51st Street. I think I got my message out there.”


When asked why he chose this action, but opted to skip grassroots protests calling for a Ceasefire in Gaza or climate action, Beaumont explained.


“Those are important causes, sure, but it’s a lot harder to make those protests about me.”  


At press time, Beaumont started playing a slime tutorial of Jennifer Simard going on for Joanne in Company, and then proceeded to handcuff himself to the counter of the Times Square Raising Cane’s until Stephen Sondheim made a statement denouncing the pinkwashing in the production. He seemingly did not know that Sondheim was no longer alive, nor what pinkwashing means.

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