Producer Open to Negotiating Eight Show Week, Hoping to Get It to 12

by Richard Spitaletta. @ RichardSpitzz.

NEW YORK, NY – This morning, prolific Broadway producer Harold Lee Lyson pledged support for renegotiating the eight show work week, asserting that he would love to see it increased to 12 if possible.

“I’m so grateful we are finally having this conversation, I’ve been wanting to do 12 shows a week for years!” Lyson said from the runway of his private jet. “Right now, actors in the city are taking a stand and pushing back against the current model of eight shows a week, and I couldn’t agree more. These young people really inspire me. Why should we hold ourselves back and do just eight? Way more should be the floor.”

John Cantone, Mr. Lyson’s personal assistant and also his husband, expanded on these comments at a press conference later in the afternoon.

“Mr. Lyson is so excited about this new movement to work more,” said Mr. Cantone while counting a suitcase full of money. “He prepared a follow up statement and requested I read it to you all. Ahem. ‘With the labor strikes happening all over America, I was terrified about a potential actors strike as well. So imagine my surprise to find out actors on Broadway want to work more, not less! Bring on 12 shows a week baby! Hell, let’s shoot for the stars and do 15.”

Kate Halsey, a union representative from Actors Equity Association and also Mr. Lyson’s daughter, returned our request for comment on this proposal.

“We here at the union are steadfast in our beliefs and will always fight for the rights of who we care about most: Broadway producers. 12 shows a week? Sounds chill. I am just out here vibing, planning some random gala and cancelling virtual town halls.”

We also asked Mr. Lyson about what the pay increase would look for the actors with a 12-show work week, at which he laughed hysterically, threw back a Manhattan on the rocks, boarded his private jet, and said “you guys are hilarious!”