Parents Were Excited to Hear About Your "Job on Broadway" But You Were Just Saying That JOB is Now on Broadway

by Allison Mintz. @allison_mintz.

BUSHWICK, BK —  A bi-weekly facetime catch-up has turned into a brutal misunderstanding when aspiring actor Abby Asterson, 24, casually told her parents she was excited to see Job on Broadway, but they tragically misheard her say that she was excited for HER JOB on Broadway. 

“I should’ve known better than to answer their call right before I got on the L train,” lamented Asterson, who says her lack of cell service was to blame for her parent’s tragic mishearing. “My mom immediately took to Facebook to let her 3400 friends know that I finally had made it big in New York City, and I just didn’t have the heart to clarify that I was actually just interested in seeing a gripping two-person drama.”

Phil and Mara Asterson, Abby’s parents and unironic owners of two separate Subarus, were quick to explain themselves.

“She was always the best one in the school plays, so I don’t really understand why she isn’t doing Broadway,” asserted Phil, who claims he once saw Sondheim at a Lakers game. “I’ve told her time and time again, just look up the names and phone numbers of the people in charge of giving out the roles, go get a cup of coffee with them, and they’ll want to put you in their show! Maybe they’d even put her in this little show about getting a job, or whatever it is. She just doesn’t apply herself, this kid, I swear.” 

Nate Bissell, a production assistant at Job, notes that despite the show's critical acclaim and sold-out houses, the show’s title has been difficult to navigate.

“When friends ask me what I’m doing for work, and I say I’m working at Job, they just keep asking ‘yeah, but what job?’. It’s like a horrible version of the who’s on first joke” says Bissell, while drinking a quadruple of white wine out of those Broadway sippy cups. “I can see how these one word noun play titles can cause a lot of confusion, especially among older matinee crowds.” 

The confusion over Job is just another of the many show title confusion mishaps of this year alone, with Asterson informing us of another similar scenario.

“My parents keep telling me they have tickets to this new musical ANIMATRONIC, and they think it's an adaptation of one of those robot performances at Chuck E Cheese. I don’t know how to tell them that Stereophonic is actually a play.