by Devin Wallace. @thedevinwallace.
NEW YORK, NY - As the nominees for the 75th Tony Awards are set to be announced, there are calls for those nominees to remain the same as last year - calls that exclusively seem to be coming from Aaron Tveit in a hastily-made disguise.
“They had it perfect last year,” said Tveit while reapplying a Party City mustache and adjusting a pair of Groucho Glasses. “Everyone was so happy at last year’s Tony Awards: the fans, the voters, and especially the Aaron Tveits. Let’s keep that same excitement with the same exact nominees. No changes, no differences, and definitely no more nominees in the Leading Actor in a Musical Category,” added Tveit, who loudly clarified that he was simply a Broadway fan named Sharon.
The call to keep the same nominees has begun to be echoed by others, including three Jagged Little Pill producers in a trenchcoat.