The Most Method Actor Yet? Baby Born Via C-Section In Order to Authentically Play Macduff
by Annie Sudler. IG: @soap._suds. Twitter: @the_soap_suds.
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Critics have dubbed theatrical newcomer Sean Burton the “greatest method actor of all time” following his recent birth via C-section in order to better prepare him to one day play Macduff.
“This kid’s got it all,” claims theatre critic Traci Franklin while scanning birth announcements on Facebook for fresh new talent. “He’s got the charm, he’s got the talent, and most importantly, he’s got the real-world experiences to connect him to this role. Sure, he’s never overthrown a corrupt king, or acted, or stood up or said anything yet, but he was from his mother’s womb untimely ripped, and that’s the most important part.”
Burton’s agent, Veronica Daniels, believes her client’s impact on the sphere of acting cannot be overstated.
“Sean’s a revolutionary,” said Daniels, ignoring the constant pinging from her six work phones with all ringers set to high. “He’s ushering us into a new world of method acting. Less creepy than Jared Leto mailing human ears, more insane than whatever that guy from There Will Be Blood was doing. Sean Burton is going to be synonymous with total commitment to a role.”
Sean Burton’s mother, Kelli Burton, expressed some discomfort with her son’s newfound fame.
“I don’t doubt he’s talented,” said Ms. Burton as the surgeons finished stitching up her stomach incision. “I just don’t want it to go to his head. I mean, he’s a good kid. In the twenty-five minutes he’s been out in the world, he’s shown a natural talent for the stage. I just hope he stays on the right path.”
The Broadway Beat was one of few outlets able to reach Burton for comment, who is deep in the rehearsal process for Nashville Community Theatre’s production of Macbeth, opening in March of their 2047-48 season. Said Burton regarding the role: “Ah ba-ba-ba. Gah!”
Burton then proceeded to vomit on himself, much to the rapturous approval of his co-stars.