by HaleyJane Rose. @haleyisfamous.
SEWICKLY, PA - 18-year old Bryan Dowry, a Freshman acting major at Carnegie Mellon University, announced this week that he intends to answer all of his family’s questions over Thanksgiving break in the famous Meisner Repetition exercise, sources confirmed.
“Diving into my craft is of the utmost importance,” says the first semester student. “I want my family to see all of the skills I’ve acquired, and the transformative work I’ve been doing. Therefore, every time my mom asks ‘Can you pass the gravy?’, I dramatically respond with ‘Can I pass the gravy?’. They love it."
Vincent Wright, Bryan’s uncle and a local auto mechanic, expressed confusion and discomfort toward his nephew’s new behavior.
“We used to be able to talk about all kinds of things, we were really close,” notes Wright while picking at his third helping of sweet potato. “But now he stands in a corner ‘emotionally prepping’ for fifteen minutes before each conversation we have. I’m starting to wonder if $70k a year for his education is too much."
Devastated by his new acting chops is Bryan’s Mother, Julianne.
“I spent all day cooking this meal, making sure that everything was perfect for my sweet college boy’s first visit home,” she said while crying into the pecan pie. “He won’t eat anything! He insists on doing something called ‘Neutral Mask’? All he does is squat in an invisible chair and pantomime eating a delicious meal, when he can just eat it for real! Is acting school bad?"
At press time, there has been no official word on how Bryan Dowry’s commitment to the art will affect his family Monopoly game, but tensions are high after he was found wearing all black and chasing wild turkeys with his prop Stage Combat rapier and dagger.