by Matt Keeley. @reallymattkeeley.
WASHINGTON DC - In a unanimous vote, the governing body of the Society of American Fight Directors upheld new changes to the organization’s Policy and Procedure to allow for a single good punch in order to establish dominance.
“It’s so important that as an internationally-recognized organization of professional theatrical combat designers, we prioritize safety above all else. And if that takes a good sucker punch to the jaw to really drive home the point, that’s well worth it,” said fight director Dave Gonzalez, massaging a sore, freshly-bandaged right hand. “For a fight scene to be in control, consistent, and repeatable, it’s imperative that partners communicate and respond in kind throughout. That’s just impossible whenever they’re locked in an ongoing hierarchical power struggle.”
The response to the new guidelines has been swift, with many stage combat practitioners seeing immediate benefits in their rehearsal and performance processes.
“I can’t stress enough how much easier it is to get through fight call now that proper order has been enacted,” praised actor Matthew P. Smith through a bundle of tissues wadded in his nostrils. “It was impossible when you’ve got both Mercutio and Tybalt showboating even at a half-speed run-through. I realize now that I was subconsciously filling the perceived void in leadership until BAM! Everything’s clear now. Kinda like when you smack the car radio and it starts working, except the ‘smack’ is a punch and the ‘car radio’ is my bitch co-star, Brian.”
Furthermore, members of the leadership board have lauded the updated policy’s potential of clarifying individual SAFD member status within the structure of the overall organization.
“We believe that if you want to work with the best, you have to train with the best. But what happens when you have two diametrically-opposed claims on who the best truly is?” explained fight master H. Russ Brown, casually sheathing a red-hued lightsaber, “I mean, clearly an Actor Combatant is outranked by an Advanced Actor Combatant, who both place higher than a simple Basic Proficiency, but if you get two people of the same rank? That’s what we call a real Highlander situation.”
Freshly-inspired by the success of their new guidelines, senior SAFD organizers have advanced a new resolution to allow a little stabbing, as a treat.