Congratulations! You Won a Broadway Lottery and the Show Begins in Eight Minutes
by Steven Verdile. @stevenverdilecreative.
NEW YORK, NY - It’s a great thing you checked your email, because you won a Broadway ticket lottery and the show is about to begin! If you drop every single responsibility you have for the remainder of tonight, catch an express subway with no delays, and spend $40 per ticket (plus $9 fee), you can finally see that show that you kind of want to see!
“I’m sorry, I already have plans to do something that isn’t going to a jukebox musical of an artist who I barely know,” says your bestie who you try to give the second ticket you purchased. “Next time just let me know in advance!” they add, as if these eight minutes aren't considered "advance".
As you frantically search for a last minute companion, you realize you’ll have no chance to eat before the show. Does an overpriced box of M&M’s and a $23 sippy cup of Franzia count as dinner? It does when you’re stepping out of Port Authority and it’s 7:56 PM!
“I don’t want your mixtape! Or comedy club tickets!” shout the nearby tourists who are not interested in your free second ticket. Even Times Square Elmo shoos your offer away, as if you're a spotted lantern fly with a cough and no mask.
By the time you concede on finding a buddy, it is 7:59 and the people at the will call window eagerly await to scold you for tardiness.
“I love to see the sweat dripping down their face, the shame in their eyes when they realize they’ll be scooting their butt across a row of undeserving faces who were seated on time.”
says Sandra as she smirks behind that little glass window. “It’s the best part of the job.”
Will it be the greatest show you’ve seen? Probably not. But nothing beats the rush of adrenaline that you get from saving a few dollars and canceling laundry night to go see absurdly talented and hot people perform fun songs.