• Broadway Beat

Nation’s Composers Put Away Their Toys After Shut of Car Door Signals That Daddy’s Home

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.

EARTH - Musical theatre composers across the globe were instructed to put away their toys and clean up their playrooms today, after the shut car door of Stephen Sondheim’s announcement that his new musical, Square One, is set to hit Broadway next year has, indeed, signaled that daddy’s home, sources confirmed.


“Oh no, papa’s gonna be furious!” noted composer Thomas Kitt, furiously hiding the score for Sponegbob SquarePants in the middle of a Playboy. “If anybody asks, I swear I did all my homework - and by that, I mean studied polyphony. Daddy daddy, pick me up!”


At press time, all composers and theatre fans were hoping that daddy had indeed brought them a treat from work, in the form of a timeless tale starring Nathan Lane and Bernadette Peters that has a really killer Tonys performance. Sondheim was last seen entering the house, putting down his briefcase, and preparing for the bath we have all collectively run him.