by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
NEW YORK, NY - The haze operator at Broadway's Chicago has officially been given the night off in response to the massive Canadian wildfires sending smoke toward New York City, deeming his role “currently unnecessary”.
“I was getting ready to do my thing and let the smoke flow, but then we realized we could save money and just open the doors,” noted haze operator Mick Lewis, smoking the equivalent of a cigarette by standing outside for a few hours. “I just hope house management makes it clear the venue is non-smoking except for terrifying signs of climate change.”
At press time, Lewis was informed that he would be furloughed from “time to time” as climate changes worsens and events like this become more common. He was informed, however, that he can always take on a second role as the guy who stands outside theaters mopping up acid rain.