by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
NEW YORK, NY - In response to the bold, fresh, acclaimed new musical A Strange Loop, representatives of the Broadway League have announced plans to implement an emergency, second production of Hugh Jackman in The Music Man in an attempt to balance things out.
“We welcome the strides Loop has made in terms of telling a story about race, sexuality, youth and auteurism, but it’s just not sustainable,” noted rep Lee Gorgon, pressing the big CODE HUGH button under his desk. “People need to know that they have the safety net of attending not one, but two tappin’ shows about a trombone liar."
The second Music Man, which will perform at 11:30pm following the first show’s 8:00pm curtain, will feature the same cast and crew but in an entirely different theater for some reason. While many question the logistics behind this decision, other representatives note that the alternative is much more dangerous.
“We’ve had this option for a while now, but thank god we’ve never had to use it,” noted rep Angela Davenz, adding an asterisk to a Loop marquee reading “Big, Black & Queer as American Broadway”. “If we don’t take drastic measures, what’s next? More original work from new voices?
Audience members of the new Music Man - which League members signed off on in a historic press conference in front of the Glass House Tavern - are already noticing its strain.
“Yeah, I caught the late show. By around the 1:30am mark they had to attach marionette strings to Sutton Foster so somebody else could make her dance,” noted fan Chesly Berren, who responded “what?” when we asked if the performance made him feel safe. “But hey, it’s nice to see an organization taking action in the face of… a new one act?”
At press time, sources were considering allocating tax payer money to institute a second American Buffalo should POTUS end up being extended.