"I'm Not Like Other Girls," says Bad Cinderella Slipping Into a Glass Converse
by Paige Oberholtzer. @paibus.
NEW YORK, NY. - Andrew Lloyd Webber has announced the New York transfer of his take on the classic fairytale Cinderella - with a name change making it clear that the leading lady is quite unconventional. Instead of pumpkins, magic and fairies, Bad Cinderella proves she’s “not like other girls” as she crams her foot into a glass lace-up Converse sneaker.
“I just don’t fit the mold of a prim and proper princess,” Bad Cinderella shouted as she tagged her stepmother’s boudoir door with washable paint. “I’m not into any of that girly shit. I wear boxers under my hoop skirts. I don’t wear lipstick, I don’t have eyelashes, and I’d sooner DIE than go blonde. I still play with rats, though.”
At press time, Bad Cinderella has been taken to the hospital in order to remove the glass shards from her feet after moshing in the pit with her fragile sneakers on. She’ll be released at the stroke of midnight, before her fingerless gloves turn back into regular gloves.