by Heidi Brueckmann. @heidibrueckmann.
BROOKLYN, NY - Recent MFA graduate and current middle school theatre teacher Marcos Quinn was spotted crying in the sixth grade supply closet for the fifteenth time this week after being told to take several seats by the school bullies, also known as his seventh period class.
“I’m just out here trying to serve main character energy,” cried Quinn through a smile, already thinking of new ways to connect with the youths. “I’m a real actor. I have my MFA and I’m Equity, but all these kids care about is how sus my website looks and how not dank my reel is. Then there’s the issue with my shoes, which they say are too ‘Chekhov’. At least I’ve gotten them thinking about my boy Anton, ya know? It must be a compliment?”
Daisy Abrams, sixth grade queen bee and arch-nemesis of Mr. Quinn, recalled this insult differently.
“He thinks we called his shoes Chekhov?,” scoffed Abrams while simultaneously scrolling TikTok. “I don’t know what the fuck that means, but we sure as shit called his shoes cheugy. Those ratty-ass laced too-high Converse? Cheugy. And those videos on his website? So cringe. He doesn’t even ask you to like and subscribe.”
Jamal Holloway, known teacher’s pet and Be More Chill super-fan, also shared thoughts on Mr. Quinn’s website. And his reel. Not his shoes.
“Don’t get me wrong,” stated Holloway while slipping into character shoes for his fourth period theater class, even though he would be seated taking a quiz for the entirety of class. “I love Mr. Quinn. He’s great. He’s showing me exactly how to not get famous.”
Quinn has now doubled down on incorporating Chekhov into his curriculum thanks to Ms. Abrams helpful feedback. Never undone by the dilemma, he has also upgraded his website from a free trial of SquareSpace to premium, but only as a way of buying a moment of reprieve from the mockery while he plans his next lesson on commedia dell'arte.