Sad: Actor Runs Out of High School "Rent" Photos to Post December 24th, 9pm, Eastern Standard Time
by Jason Keane. @akeanemachine (Twitter). @jasondkeane (Instagram).
HARTFORD, Conn. - Unfortunate news today as local performer William Peterson has reportedly finally run out of pictures of himself in decade old production of Rent to post annually on December 24th at 9pm, Eastern Standard time, the disgraced actor confirmed.
“I’ve used them all up,” says William, scrounging through old Facebook photos, leaving no stone unturned. “I was scraping by before but this is DEFCON 1. I can’t reuse an old one, that’s tacky, and I don’t just want to post the logo because I want people to know I was in it. If I don’t have a picture of myself in the show, how am I supposed to make it about me?”
We spoke to William’s mother, Deborah Peterson, regarding the fond memories of his production.
“It would be genuinely embarrassing if he’s the only one who doesn’t post about it this year,” said Mrs. Peterson while posting her own performance photo. “Even the props guys from that production have their pictures ready. My son can be unemployed, untalented, and poor - but I will not have him be an outlier.”
We spoke to Matthew Decker, the director of the production William was in, to give us his opinion on the phenomenon.
“I cannot tell you how many times I get asked about performance photos for decades old shows,” said Decker while pouring himself another Irish Coffee. “They should just do what I do; direct a production every five or so years so you always have a steady supply of Getty images on your computer hard drive for this very occasion.” At the time of publication, Decker has four different productions of Rent under his belt, primarily so he can be ready each Christmas Eve.
Luckily, William was able to be a last minute ensemble member of Rent 2020, an adaptation which takes place over Zoom in our current year. It was described by critics as, “unnecessary” and “very not good.” William fears that next year, however, that he might also run out of photos of his Catholic middle school production of Fiddler on the Roof to post on Hanukkah.