Actor Not Cursed to Communicate Exclusively Through Showtunes, That's Just Kind of How He Is
by Justin Avery Smith. @JustAVerySmith.
BOSTON - Local actor Ronald Hitchings addressed the long-standing rumors that he had run-in with a witch who cursed him to communicate exclusively through showtunes, confirming the rumors to be false, and that it’s just the way he has been all his life.
“I’m not scared to be seen, I make no apologies, this is me!” noted Hitchings in a disturbingly conversational tone. “Don’t tell me not to live, just sit and putter! Life's candy and the suns a ball of butter! Don’t bring around a cloud to rain on my parade!”
Close friend and co-star Cait Barrett was also reached for comment about this revelation. She asserts that he does have other interests and traits besides music, and was able to give some information on Hitchings’ personality to back up her claims.
“I know he likes raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens. Brown paper packages, tied up with string, are a few of his favorite things.” She also supports his claims that he has had no encounters with witches, sorcerers, or other beings that may put a curse on people to speak in song lyrics for all eternity. This is, again, just kind of who he is.
Their director, Steve Chambers, isn’t too concerned with how Hitchings’ personal habits will affect the production.
“[Ronald] has assured me that he is working on it,” stated Chambers. “He says it’s time to try defying gravity - he thinks he’ll try defying gravity - and you can't pull him down.”
With witchcraft out of the picture, Hitchings behavior does prove to be consistent with many others in the musical theater community, but continues to puzzle many with the fact he has not starred in a single musical to date, only straight plays.