by Dan Kozuh. @dankozuh.
WESTLAKE, Ohio - Local man Ruben Stokes’, after performing the role of Bob Cratchit in Westlake Community Theater’s production of A Christmas Carol, has suffered an allergic reaction causing his ego to swell tremendously after having been bitten by the acting bug, sources within the acting troupe confirm.
“At first he did this as a favor for a friend, but as soon as he started rehearsing, we noticed that he was having a reaction,” the play’s director Claudia Peters explained while cleaning up shards of a prop vase Stoke’s smashed. “Pretty soon he was demanding his own dressing room. No one has a dressing room, we get ready in the bathrooms.”
Stokes however, refuses to believe that the bug bite had any impact on him.
“I am just trying to take this seriously, even if it is just regional theater,” Stokes explained while itching furiously at a rash on his arm. “Yeah, I dropped out of Barefoot In The Park because I wasn’t cast as the male lead, but that’s only because they gave it to Noah Richards, who I can act circles around! Not to mention we were told we have to do our own makeup. This is outrageous. I’ve auditioned for commercials in Cleveland!”
Dr. Armando Strickland, MD of The Cleveland Clinic, explains that this is an all too common medical issue.
“Just like people who buy a cat without seeing if they are allergic, many people start acting before checking to see if their ego can handle the venom of the acting bug,” Strickland explained after treating Stokes for a severe hissy fit. “The reaction can be a simple temper tantrum, but can be as severe as leaving your wife to move to L.A. Unfortunately, current medical technology can’t tell us how bad this might get. As long as Mr. Stokes acknowledges his allergy, he should be able to manage the symptoms by starting a podcast.”
When reached for an update, Stokes had been hospitalized after the allergy got so bad he had his nose broken by a stage manager.