Uh-Oh! 16-Year Old Writer Finds Out You Can Swear in Plays
by Conor Moroney. @conorseamusactor.
WILMINGTON, MA – Oh dear. Giovanni Gorlami, a precocious 16-year old with ambitions of being a writer, has discovered that you are allowed to swear in plays.
“Oh man, I was [redacted] stoked!” Gorlami said, not taking his eyes off the rapidly scrolling YouTube shorts. “I picked up this one book Glengamy Green Moss [sic] and saw how many times they said [redacted]. I’m going to start writing some[redacted]thing like that and I’m gonna show just how [redacted] real and down to [redacted] earth my [redacted] worldview is. It’ll get picked up for Broadway after I premiere it at my high school’s Evening of One Acts."
Tammy Broomby, Gorlami’s creative writing teacher, is conflicted about his newfound passion toward theatrical profanity.
“This is tough, because on the one hand a student is actively interested in creative writing," Broomby said, hiding in her classroom during her prep time. “On the other, he understands the idea of profanity, but not the execution. He needs a seminar so I don’t have to read another line of dialogue that's just ‘Listen the [redacted] up, [redacteds], we need to lock the [redacted]! Hold on to your [redacted] [redacteds].’”
Lucas Earlman, Supercilious Theatre Company’s Artistic Director and freelance photo booth photographer, had been invited to attend the premiere of Gorlami’s one act [Redacted] Seriously?!
“Giovanni Gorlami is a young go-getter who knows how to smash through the Bronx bathroom apartment window of opportunity!” Earlman said, not caring if that metaphor is lost on audiences. “Giovanni has learned that the theatre is all about revealing your truth to a paying audience. His truth is a dark and gritty saying where men are manly and say all sorts of tough things and showing women how things are done in the real world. With time and persistence he could be the next Taylor Sheridan.”
Just before publication, The Broadway Beat received word that someone has given Gorlami a copy of Equus and he is now excited to explore the possibility of “boobs, butts, and weiners on stage.”
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