by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
NEW YORK, NY - Following the announcement that the cast of Broadway's Waitress is set to perform 10 shows in six days during this holiday season, the baggy-eyed set of performers have revealed that they plan to enjoy festive, joyous holiday dinner in the form of 20 minute IV drips between performances.
"Yes it's rigorous, but this is what being a performer is about," noted one ensemble member, who didn't see their family last year because of COVID-19 and won't see their family this year because of TOURISM-2021. "Do we need rest to put on a great performance? I think so. Are we gonna get burnt out? Definitely. Are they making an unprecedented demand of their performers during a time that is stressful enough at the end of a traumatic year? I don't know, I'm so tired. I lost my train of thought."
In addition to the necessary vitamins and amino acids that the cast will likely be drained of during this stretch, the IV will also include just a tiny little bit of liquified pumpkin pie, as a treat.
At press time, the cast were set to perform yet another "Broadway's Back" celebratory number on a morning talk show, before being re-chained to their underground hydration chambers, because the people would like to hear a song, and we must feed the people's ears.