by Kath Dunham. @kathdunham.
BILOXI, MS - Sources report that, due to budget restraints, Biloxi High School has had to forgo their upcoming production of Heathers for a more affordable production of Heather.
“It’s really unfortunate but we just don’t have the budget for all those Heathers,” said high school principal Eileen Vu. “By putting on Heather instead, we’ll be saving almost 66% of what we would have spent on costumes and hair for the full Heather capacity. I mean, going into this, we knew Heathers was an ambitious show, but we had no idea just how expensive three can be.”
The whittling down also saved some money on printing, as the playbills required less bios, and less congratulatory messages from proud parents. Theatre teacher Ted Kraft expressed his disappointment in the cut back, noting that the school’s athletics program wasn’t forced to cut anything as integral as two Heathers.
“We deal with budget cuts almost yearly, whether it be to props or sets or staffing,” said Kraft. “We’ve never had our Heathers cut, though. We’ll get through it, but it’s just a shame people don’t see value in the arts. Or the value in three Heathers.”
Competition in the audition room was, therefore, tighter than ever. High school senior Kelly Williams has been cast in the now sole, titular role of Heather.
“The audition room was tense as it is but all of us really got desperate when we found out there would only be one Heather,” said Williams, “But, honestly, now that I have the role, it’s a lot more than I bargained for. I’m doing all the Heathers’ lines and songs. And have to learn to play one-person croquet.”
At press time, a similarly underfunded high school in the town next door was putting on Mamma Mia! but with only one dad.