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BREAKING: Tony Awards Add New Category Honoring Best Lighting by Cell Phone Cameras in the Audience

by Erin Corbo.

NEW YORK, NY - The Tony Awards Administration Committee shocked fans around the world today when they announced that the 2020 Tony Awards will include a new category celebrating the best lighting by cell phone cameras in the audience, the awards committee confirmed.

“The Tonys are committed to celebrating excellence in art,” said spokesperson Harold King. "For some time now, we’ve failed to recognize a key visual element - the painfully glaring light cast by iPhones in the upper mezzanine. The artistry of a random, shaky, distracting beam of white light has become truly characteristic of the Broadway experience. It's time for us to shine a light on the people in the audience, just as their phones do to the entire theater.”

Theatregoer Karen Milano, 28, was delighted to hear the news.

“It’s about time we get some recognition,” noted Milano, clutching her iPhone 8. “I’ve worked really hard to make sure that whenever I illegally record or photograph Broadway shows, I do so in the most prominent way possible. I always ask myself, ‘How can I distract the cast, crew, and audience all at once?’, and I’ve had amazing results. I’m telling you - Sophia Anne Caruso’s ‘Dead Mom’ is just so much more raw and personal when she visibly winces every time she looks at the left side of the theatre.”

Actors, however, appear to have a different perspective. We spoke with Kevin Harris, an ensemble member from the cast of Mean Girls, to hear his thoughts on the addition.

“Look, it’s hard enough to breakdance on a rolling table while holding a lunch tray. I don’t need to be blinded mid-handspring by someone making a Tik Tok in the fifth row, no matter how much ‘drama’ it adds to the scene,” said Harris, signature lunch tray in tow.  “Wait, that makes them eligible for a Tony? I’m not even eligible for a Tony!”

At press time, buzz around the category has already begun, with Milano considering herself a strong contender. She did, however, decline a request to be photographed for this article, stating that flash photography hurts her eyes.


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