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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

All the Sweaty, Primal President’s Day Sex Tevye and Golde are Having Right Now, Ranked

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.

Loved our Valentine’s Day Tevye and Golde bang round-up? Well, fantastic news - they’re still at it, even on President’s Day! And they’ve had NO water. Let’s begin!

5. Even though Fiddler on the Roof does not take place in America, this sternly dedicated couple will take any excuse to spend an entire day showcasing their love through physical displays that are anything but traditional. Their first President’s Day was a match made in heaven, and an exhausting reminder to the village that a holiday in any culture means a lovefest in the milkman’s house.

4. What would President’s Day be without powdered wigs? Ask Tevye and Golde, because for this session, they’re wearing them. They’re wearing the hell out of them. And they’re ONLY wearing them, if you catch our drift.

3. Their afternoon bout included some very detailed Herbert Hoover cosplay, which is crazy, because as we noted they do not live in America, and Hoover wouldn’t even come into office until 25 years after Fiddler takes place. But hey, their fuck train left the station a long ago, and who are we to re-route the tracks?

2. It’s almost supper time, and their five daughters AND the Wolf family are coming over for dinner! They can wait though, because the only snack this couple will be having tonight is each other. And they are HUNGRY.

1. This one was… kind of beautiful? Nothing dangerous or over-the-top to report, just a couple who have shared struggles and triumphs celebrating their love with the passion that oh no they're on the roof again. The Fiddler’s back. It’s a fucking mess. It’s… it’s so much.

Chances are they’ll still be at it even after the next sunrise & sunset. Happy President’s Day!


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