by Ivy Moore.
NEW YORK, NY - Following the announcement that Ben Platt and Noah Galvin have become the second couple to date after both portraying the title role in Broadway’s Tony-winning Dear Evan Hansen, rumors began to circulate regarding a dating app exclusively for actors who have donned the blue polo. After confirming its existence, The Broadway Beat recently sent one of our reporters undercover as “Garrett Owens”, a 26-year-old cast in a suspended South African tour, to infiltrate the app, fittingly named HansenMingle.
“I was concerned since my tour didn’t exist I wouldn’t be welcomed, but the community was very friendly at first,” said the reporter while rubbing his arm where he’d had a fiberglass cast installed for authenticity. “I was lucky to be a full-time Evan because understudies are blocked on their off-nights. I was having a nice conversation with Sam Primack, the tour alternate, and he explained his account gets suspended as soon as Stephen Christopher Anthony takes the stage again.”
Ben Levi Ross and Taylor Trensch, co-creators of HansenMingle, declined to comment and have only spoken publicly about the app in its official statement.
“As the first openly Evan/Evan couple, we wanted to encourage others of our kind to pair up,” noted the statement. “Hansen actors need partners who have the same emotional scarring, character commitment, and massive vocal range. I mean, yeah, it kinda sounds like a weird theatre eugenics thing but, like, it’s not. It’s just hot to date someone who can harmonize with ‘Only Us.’”
Sam Tutty, the West End’s Evan, left the app once he understood its true intent.
“I had to get out once I saw the emails,” stated Tutty, visibly shaken. “Playing that kid has gotten to all of us, but apparently some more than others. Most people are using [HansenMingle] to continue writing to Connor Murphy. Fake email after fake email, in character, with details about trees and the dangers of drug addiction. It’s less of a dating app and more of a sick ploy for them to keep being Evan.”
At press time, HansenMingle users have confirmed that, besides the general dangers associated with the app, the hot ones have already been taken anyway.