• Broadway Beat

QUIZ: Are you an Elphaba, a Glinda, or the Zodiac Killer?

by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.

Wicked fans unite! Ever wonder where you land in the great Emerald City-verse? Or, perhaps, where you fit into the infamous Zodiac killings that took place in Northern California during the 1960’s? Well, we’ve got the answer.


Take our quiz below to decide if you’re an Elphaba, a Glinda, or if you’re the unidentified serial killer whose case file is still open with the California Department of Justice.


When you see someone in need, do you:


A. Try to help, but mess things up further

B. Help, and then go the extra mile to make their day even brighter

C. Follow them home, get them to pull over by flashing your brights, and murder them


You have a new roommate that you just can’t stand. To try and work it out, do you:


A. Set clear, strict ground rules for the space

B. Try to find common ground while extending a friendly hand

C. Kill them in a field


You notice discrimination taking place at your work/university. Do you:


A. Stand up for what’s right no matter the consequences

B. Try to gather more info before taking action, as to not mess up how people see you

C. You don’t have time to worry about that because you’re the Zodiac, and you’ve got killing to do


How do you express yourself?


A. With a calm, caring and supportive demeanor

B. Flashy clothes, quippy dialogue and a big personality

C. By sending menacing, cryptic letters to the San Francisco Police Department providing details of your crimes and taunting them for not being able to catch you


When do you get the most work done?


A. Evening

B. Daytime

C. Any time - that’s what makes the case so interesting. There isn’t a clear pattern to the killings, or preference in terms of timing or location. Many experts attribute this flexibility to why the police have struggled to catch you for over 50 years


Describe your ideal birthday party.


A. Quiet dinner with four close friends

B. Huge blowout with confetti, catering and an open bar

C. Don’t answer that - instead answer this: During the Modesto attack on October 14th, 1969, why didn’t you kill Kathleen Johns once you got her in your car? You drove around for almost 90 minutes, but what were you looking for? This didn’t match up with the spontaneity of your other attacks. Were you planning something specific? Looking for a certain location? Having second thoughts? Answer me you son of a bitch.


Pick an ice cream flavor.


A. Chocolate

B. Vanilla

C. Strawberry


RESULTS


If you answered:


Mostly A’s: Elphaba

Mostly B’s: Glinda

Mostly C’s: You are the Zodiac Killer, and I swear that one day…. One day, I’m gonna catch you