BREAKING: Jeremy Jordan Still Stuck to Concrete Slab Inside Lincoln Center

by Sarah Lasko.

NEW YORK, NY. — In a shocking turn of events, it was discovered that Jeremy Jordan is currently still stuck to a concrete slab inside Lincoln Center’s Vivian Beaumont Theater in Manhattan. 

“We were in the middle of watching Act One of Ragtime when I first noticed,” explained long-time LincTix subscription holder, Edith Pfenway, after assuring us that she was definitely still young enough to qualify for LincTix. “I assumed from the overalls he wore that he was an immigrant character, but then at intermission, he didn’t leave the stage. It would've been too derivative to copy the whole Ben Platt intermission bit from Parade, so that’s when I called 911.”

Out of respect for the sick performance that Joshua Henry was laying down that day as Coalhouse Walker, Jr., authorities waited until the matinee ended before investigating further. NY Rescue & Response leader William Burke was the first to reach Jordan.

“I could barely make him out with all the theater lights turned off,” Burke shared, while wiping his soddened brow with a Ragtime Playbill signed by several members of the cast. “But I was able to get him some food and water, and then we sang a quick song together. The tight harmonies really seemed to lift his spirits.” 

The NY Rescue & Response Team has vowed that they will work tirelessly until Jordan is freed from being confined to a Broadway thrust stage with so many perilous eyelines. 

“It’s especially important that we get him out now that winter’s here,” Lieutenant Thomas Carmitchel warned after showing us that week’s Broadway grosses on Playbill.com. “Conditions inside Broadway theaters start to decline after holiday scheduling hits. At this point, we’re pretty sure he’s been through at least 11 shows straight without a single day off. We’re getting concerned that he might start to lose hope. Also that's gotta be a union violation.”

At the time of publishing, rescue teams were in the process of pulling 24-hour shifts to ensure that Jordan would be out soon.

“It’s been a little discouraging that we haven’t gotten him out just yet,” Burke admitted. “But Jeremy told me he’s been contacted by Ragtime’s production team, and they’ve agreed to give him an ensemble contract for the duration. So at least he’ll get some union health weeks out of it.”