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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

Obsessed! These Broadway Musicals Have Been Updated for Quarantine and Are Definitely Not Depressing

by Laura Ornella. @lauraornella.

We've been quarantining, and now some of your favorite Broadway musicals have joined the party! They've been updated to align with our new world and it's a ton of fun and not at all a horribly depressing summary of the last few months.

Check out the full batch below!

A Toilet Line

A tiny apartment with too many roommates sparks the show of a lifetime! Join us for this miraculous ensemble cast in A Toilet Line. Learn about these Brooklyn roommates’ very full bladders as they perform some very awesome dance moves while in line for the bathroom! This ensemble has had too much coffee, which is why they really need Jason to finish up in there, already!

Filler In My Tooth

Quarantine was sweet for Sally...a little too sweet if you know what I mean! Witness a poor millennial determined to find good fillings for five of her teeth as she consults a traditional dentist in hopes that her insurance will cover her bill. See Sally grapple with putting down the peach rings she started indulging in due to stress and picking up the phone to call her Medicare insurance representative! Will Sally get the fillings and some baseline dental care? Come join us to find out!

Stare: The Musical

A radical, revolutionary tale about a woman named Kelly who has done it all during quarantine. Having nothing left to do, Kelly finds herself freed from the chains of productivity. Yes, she’s baked bread. No, there are no more books to read. Of course, she’s seen Love is what else is there? Watch as Kelly redefines what it means to be in quarantine as she decides to just simply...stare.

Lazy for Shoe

Sandra isn’t afraid to admit it, she’s over wearing her shoes. At this point, she can’t even fathom tying laces. The two times in four months she’s ventured outside, she’s worn her Old Navy flip flops instead. Follow Sandra and her entanglement with her lace-less shoe choice-flip flops! A tale for the ages, watch Sandra’s independence grow as she realizes, nothing’s tying her down anymore.

Gotta Pee-A!

Bodies in quarantine are confusing! Follow Kathleen on her multiple journeys to the bathroom to decide whether she has to pee, doesn't have to pee, or kind of has to pee. It's one of the three - and Kathleen and her bounty of dancing pals are gonna get to the bottom of which one! Kathleen’s lax schedule allows her to hyper-focus on her body, only to imagine she has to pee. But maybe she does? She’s just gonna go check real quick…

The Amazon Prime Representative and I

Hannah is an Amazon Prime customer, Tim is her assigned representative. Hannah has ordered an eco-friendly set of bamboo sponges that you just can’t find in stores, but they are nowhere to be found! Follow Hannah and Tim as they track down Hannah’s bamboo sponges while forging a connection along the way. Spoiler alert, Hannah gives Tim...a 5 star review.

Rudy and the Yeast

Rudy, an arrogant young Brooklyn guy, and his roommates fall under the spell of The New York Times’ Cooking section during quarantine. The spell turns Rudy and his roommates into mediocre bakers until he learns to loave and be loave-d in return. Follow Rudy through his trials and tribulations of getting ahold of a sourdough starter through a baked goods dealer and using his very dated oven in his small unventilated apartment. Oh did we mention, Rudy has no AC and this is set in the height of summer? Yeah, that’ll heat things up, for sure!

Mary's (Online) Shoppin'

Yes, Mary used to be a top of the line nanny - but then the pandemic hit! Do you honestly expect her to be working full time when a life-threatening virus is out there? Sorry, folks, Mary’s on unemployment...and maybe Mary’s doin’ a little online shopping too! Unsure of what a Tubshroom or a Fasta Pasta is? Mary’ll teach ya! Haven’t purchased a Baker’s Edge or a Wonder Wallet yet? Mary’ll sway ya! This is a musical that will fill your heart and empty your bank account!

The Dyin' Fling

Sara and Jake met through the savanna of dating apps in the oasis of Tinder. These love lions began hooking up for the month of February, and things were good but--just a fling. One thing led to another and now Sara and Jake have been quarantined for five months! What’s a not-couple to do when they are technically a couple because a pandemic forced them to be? Both of them are kind of over it, but also who can even date in a pandemic? Experience Jake and Sara’s uncomfortable microaggressions with the overwhelming wave of apathy that follows!


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