by Matthew McFadden. @matteymcfadden.
LENOX, MA. – While attending Lenox Memorial Middle School’s production of “Annie” this past weekend, Lenox resident Thomas Coleman unexpectedly became the focus of the night’s biggest spectacle after winning the largest 50-50 raffle pot in the drama club’s history.
“I’m usually not a gambling man,” said Coleman, “but that night I had a good feeling. You see usually it’s one ticket for one dollar, ten for five dollars, but this time they added an arms length of tickets for ten dollars! And I have arms like an orangutan!” he exclaimed, stretching out his arms to show off his above average wingspan. “I still knew the odds weren’t great, one in 20, maybe one in 30, but hey, somebody’s gotta win,” he said while sipping a blood orange San Pellegrino.
Excitement was at an all-time high at the end of intermission with rumors that the raffle pot was reaching triple digits. Once his ticket was drawn, Coleman, in attendance to see his daughter Patricia as Orphan #3, reportedly danced down the aisle to the stage where he collected his prize of 92 dollars in crumpled ones and fives. Coleman then delivered an acceptance speech that his his daughter would describe as, “really embarrassing.” He was also invited into an unspoken yet exclusive club of past 50-50 winners, include area mom and real estate supervisor Sandy Lewett.
“It’s not that I think we’re better than anybody, we just live such different lives now. We all say that money won’t change us, but it does. I got a subscription to “The Wall Street Journal” and “The New Yorker”, I paid off my library card debt,” noted Lewett , proudly sporting a 2016 Michael Kors pocketbook.
“I’ve cut ties with several of my closest friends,” added Coleman. “We just don’t relate any more. I mean, come on,” he said while gesturing to his brand new pair of new balance sneakers, “Look at these. We’re in two different worlds.”
When asked what she planned the drama club’s half of the winnings, Mrs. Keeves, the drama club director, simply responded, “Probably just use it to buy pizza for the cast party or something. It’s, like, not a lot of money.”