by Zach Raffio. @zachraffio.
NEW YORK, NY - The cast and crew of the Broadway smash The Lion King expressed their contentment at not having to hold a performance on 4/20 this year, relieved sources confirmed.
“Of course we all miss performing, but if a global pandemic halting my industry means I get to avoid the ‘hey I know this song! Ben…. Ben do you know this song?’ crowd? Things even out a little,” noted actor Nadya Tillar, who confirms that they celebrate the day but are “cool about it”. “The show’s been on for 24 years. We should not still be hearing big excited ‘whoa!’ noises form anyone over the age of 10.”
The musical’s elaborate sets and eye-catching, Julie Taymor-helmed puppetry understandably capture the attention of those who celebrate the weed-heavy holiday. While most cast members were relieved to skip this year’s celebration, other members of the production see it as a missed opportunity.
“We make a killing every year,” noted concession manager Liam Smitts, in between episodes of Planet Earth and checking his Domino’s pizza tracker, for he too... celebrates. “Every year we swap out the wine and peanuts for Mountain Dew and every version of Cheetos imaginable. By the time they get to ‘I Just Can’t Wait to Be King’, we’re completely sold out. Some audience members order wings to the theater during intermission, but they’re always cool about sharing.”
Audience members this year were understandably forced to improvise.
“I put on the Disney movie and sat really close to my laptop screen. It’s not the same, but it’s… wait did you just hear the doorbell? I think I heard the doorbell,” noted theatre fan Kimberly Hutton, whose door does not have a doorbell. “We’re gonna make up for it big time next year. They better add a matinee. That way if I fall asleep during the first show, I can still see the evening and check out those sick dancing cows,” she added, clearly talking about lions.
At press time, shows such as The Book of Mormon and Harry Potter & The Cursed Child were experiencing similar moments of relief. The team behind To Kill a Mockingbird, however, were thrilled to have skipped 4/14, otherwise known as the “scotch and adderall” holiday.