by Nick Navari. @nnavari.
NEW YORK, NY - The Tony, Grammy, Olivier, and Pulitzer-winning musical Hamilton continues to delight audiences well into its eighth year on Broadway, but a pressing problem still plagues the company: the King George costume, originally worn by notorious wet-mouth Jonathan Groff, remains soaked with his spit to this day.
“In all my years of training, nothing could have prepared me for the river of saliva in that man’s mouth," noted wardrobe supervisor Chris Lotter, over the sound of his blow dryer on high. "I tried so many different methods to try and prevent the problem, including taping one of those dentist sucking tubes just below Groff’s bottom lip to vacuum up any discharge before it landed in the eyes of conductor Alex Lacamoire. Nothing seemed to dam up the flow.”
Marisa English, head of Hamilton’s social media team, claims they had no other option but to make it a “fan experience”.
“We started raffling off the opportunity to wring out the King George costume after each show," said English as she tried to make a relevant TikTok, which was immediately banned because the app deemed it "yucky." “‘Spit4Ham’ was a success at first, allowing hundreds of devoted fans to get up close and personal with Groff Sauce’s Sauce™. But its popularity faded, leaving the actors playing King George after Groff to drown in the remaining slobber.”
Michael London, who often plays the role, noted that landing the part was a dream come true, but the pneumonia he contracts every other week from the soggy clothes has put a damper on the whole experience.
“I’m on stage for about five minutes every night,” he said, cocooned in a blanket with a thermometer sticking out of his mouth. "Just once I’d like to get through my three songs without sneezing.”
Jonathan Groff, who notoriously is not on social media, declined to comment for The Broadway Beat. We can only assume that he would apologize for this mess, and when he would say “sorry,” he probably would spit a little.