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  • Writer's pictureBroadway Beat

Jojo the Who is Uninterested in Being Your Pro-Life Scapegoat and He’s Ready to "Yop!” About It

by Keeley Bell @omgitskee.

WHOVILLE, Speck of Dust - Jojo the Who made his voice heard again today, this time with far more than a “Yop!” to tackle a touchy subject.


“‘A person’s a person, no matter how small’ is a phrase that, in my opinion, should be reserved for people that live on specks,” stated the Who candidly on TikTok Live. “Like, no one talks about how weird it is to drive by a Planned Parenthood and see your face on picket signs. Do I look like an embryo to you? My dad’s a politician, so I'm well aware of these spin tactics."


This left many wondering what Horton the Elephant, the originator of the phrase and once Jojo’s one true friend in the universe, had to say about his words being contextualized to push an agenda. Thirty minutes after the fact, he finally spoke up.


“I meant what I said and I said what I meant, an unwanted pregnancy is yours to prevent,” said the elephant in a now-deleted Twitter rant. “What’s next, saying General Genghis Khan Schmitz was wrong for those drone strikes? The Jungle of Nool drought is because of ‘climate change’? Solla Sollew isn’t an eternal reward gifted to those who live a life without sin?”


Other Nool citizens spoke up about the feud between former friends, including the adoptive mother of Horton’s elephant-bird-freak-of-nature child.


“Yeah, Horton’s views became really apparent when we started co-parenting Mayzie’s egg,” stated Gertrude McFuzz in a YouTube video titled “An Amayzing A-Hole *STORYTIME* *EMOTIONAL*”. “He started saying things like ‘a bird’s place is in the nest’ and calling the Wickershams ‘snowflakes’. It was bizarre.” No word yet on whether Horton will touch on this on his podcast, “Horton Hears You, Too”.


When asked about his new status as a Think leader for progressive ideals, Jojo had this to say:


“If you ever find yourself alone in the universe and an elephant starts talking to you from the sky, don’t engage. He could be the biggest blame tool you’ve ever met.”

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