QUIZ: Is Your Vibe More MAMMA MIA! or SPRING AWAKENING When It Comes to Singing About the Consequences of Unprotected Sex?

by Kinsey Jasnoch. @kinseyjasnoch.

We’ve all been there. You’re at a party, the drinks are flowing, the conversation is sparkling, and there’s only one question left to be asked: when you sing about the consequences of unprotected sex, as we all must do at some point in our lives, do you approach the task with a lively Greek joie de vivre, or with a folk- and alt-rock teenage anger that leaves everyone around you depressed?

Take this quiz to find out whether you’re a Donna Sheridan or a Wendla Bergmann, two spunky gals who became pregnant unexpectedly and knew that there was only one thing to do: sing about it.

Where do you typically prefer to be impregnated in a narratively significant way?

A. hayloft in 19th-century Germany.

B. Parisian hotel, a sailboat, a little shack in Greece… basically anywhere as long as it’s Europe in the 1970s and only revealed in an eventual blockbuster sequel.

How many times did you have sex?

A. What is “sex” and why do people keep asking me about it?

B. Three, but that was 20 years ago and now they’ve all shown up at my place of business the day before my daughter’s wedding, which is confusing in ways you can’t even begin to imagine.

The mama who bore you is…

A. buttoned-up woman who refuses to tell you how babies are made, thus giving you no way to handle things and making you so sad.

B. Cher descending from the sky in a helicopter.

When you sing about the repercussions of your sexual past, is Gideon Glick there?

A. Yes, of course Gideon Glick is there.

B. Oh god, is he a fourth one I forgot about?

If you answered:

Mostly As: You’re a Wendla! You prefer to reveal a shaky understanding of sex and a deep well of sadness through song, which can only mean one thing: bummer!

Mostly Bs: You’re a Donna! Your devil-may-care, lighthearted attitude toward life, love, and relationships allows you to sing and dance with your hair down and your overall straps up!

A perfect mix of the two: Whoa! You’re actually Jenna from Waitress! Keep on walking the line between abject misery and fleeting moments of joy, girlfriend!